On this episode, we check-in about big life changes — Sylvia’s cross country move and Scottie’s first baecation!
Then, we get really real and open up about failures. We share how hardships in our lives and careers have led to our successes and how important it is to honor the hard times too.
Finally, we wrap up the episode with recommendations that give you the confidence to keep moving forward and a playlist that'll have you ready to make your next big move.
Okay, Now Listen Episode 8 Transcript
Sylvia Obell: Beyoncé Gazelle Knowles Carter. How dare you? How dare you give us the gift that was and is Black is King.
Scottie Beam: Oh gosh. I --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I --. [laughs]
Scottie: I'm still speechless.
Sylvia: I've watched it nine times, right? Nine times. Because there's so --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Nine.
Scottie: Many things to capture, so many things to take in, so many things to to embrace when watching. But it's nuts to me that I knew I was going to get immaculate. I knew I was gonna get top of the top tier. You know what I'm saying? And still! I scream.
Sylvia: Let me tell you something. Big B and the B stands for bitch, how dare you scalp every follicle I have had with these immaculate visuals. That's what the big B stands for because bitch! How -- who gave you the right? I have -- I wouldn't have any edges left now. We don't have follicles. Now I don't have tears. I don't got tear ducts because of the "Brown Skinned Girl" video? What that did --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I cried my eyeballs out. I cried my eyeballs out.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] It healed -- it healed 30 years of drama -- I mean, of trauma. It healed 30 years of trauma --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Drama and trauma. [laughs]
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Drama and trauma.
Scottie: This bitch -- No. But she introduced my eyeballs, my retina -- [laughter] my retina was saying, Bitch, I ain't never seen colors like this before. What is this?
Sylvia: It's like that specific purple seems new to me. Did it always exist?
Scottie: [crosstalk] Some -- some of the blues were different!
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Is that lavender?! [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] I said, What?! I've never seen water that blue in my life. I was like that -- that's how blue water be? [laughter] For real this whole time?!
Sylvia: So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you again.
Scottie: Thank you. I --
Sylvia: We will continue to stand. [laughs][
Scottie: Always and forever, sis. Don't ever get that fucked up. And the think-piece in the world going to get me to stop. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.
[Music In]
Sylvia: I'm Sylvia Obell. I'm a culture writer, host, producer and lover -- clearly, as you can see, of Beyoncé. [laughs]
Scottie: I'm Scottie Beam, a media personality, content creator and music enthusiast and wing connoisseur. You're listening to Okay, Now Listen, a bi-weekly show where we chat about what's on our minds, what we're binging and what's blowing up our timelines.
Sylvia: And speaking of timelines, let me tell you who --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Boom, boom bitch.
Sylvia: [laughs] The Strong Black Lead? Proud to be a part, proud to play a tiny role in the bad bitch [laughter] that Strong Black Lead is. Because when I tell you --.
[Music Out].
Scottie: I be that -- I be that small fish, bitch. This is fine.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I -- that's my fish in this big pond, bitch, because let me tell you --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Hello.
Sylvia: What we have to do. This -- We have to shout out the sponsor. You knew it was coming. You knew, you knew we were going to do it for y'all because when Strong Black Lead went into the bag and pulled out Moesha, The Game, Sister Sister.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Sister Sister, Girlfriends, The Parkers, Half and Half. One on motherfucking One. I love that damn show --.
Sylvia: Baby! They were -- they went in the bag and pulled it out. Shout out to Jasmyn Lawson, shout out to everybody else who helped --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Who was involved.
Sylvia: Bring our classics to streaming. I have chosen to stand forever. I am just so excited. Like this is what it's about -- Equal representation. Because our white friends, they don't know what it's like to be starved of your favorite content this long. Like they got Friends, they got everything else. Like they can go watch all their favorite white shows from the 90s. Like I had not seen an episode of Sister Sister or Moesha or Half and Half or One on One since UPN was still a channel. Like I -- I am so excited.
Scottie: Yeah.
Scottie: I'm so excited. I'm also a little -- I'm excited. I'm a little he’s -- you know, I get -- I'm a little concerned about what these show's gonna be like in the Twitter age. [laughter] We're a bit more -- cus, you know, like some things you just romanticize remembering how good they were. Then you watch it back as a grown woman adult. And you're like, oooh, okay. You know, we're all a bit more aware than we used to be.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: But for the most part, I'm excited. Which one of these series are you most excited to have come -- to watch, Scottie?
Scottie: One on One, Half and Half, I enjoy -- Girlfriends. The Game! Oh my God.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] And the best seasons of The Game, not for nothing. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] I cried my eyeballs out -- yes. So I'm excited to see.
Sylvia: Yeah, I love Sister Sister. I loved Moesha, which is probably what I'm most nervous to rewatch. But here we are. We'll put a tab in that for later.
Scottie: I mean you've rewatched it.
Sylvia: I have --.
Have you been watching it?
Sylvia: I only got -- I've only so far seen one episode. That's because I've been busy this week and I've been moving --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right, right, right. Okay.
Sylvia: But I am -- like I want, I also want to watch it with my sister because she was not around when Moesha was out.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Aww, noooo!
Sylvia: And like, we're actually in the same house right now. So like, I wanna like -- we're trying to watch it together even though part of me like, I hope I don't have her watching nothing crazy. But we gonna see.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Aww.
Sylvia: But I am most excited about Girlfriends outside of that just to have a place because I do love rewatching that. And I'm going to go ahead and put it on record that I'm starting the petition to get the cast of Girlfriends on Okay, Now listen.
Scottie: Oh my god.
Sylvia: Because what better place to talk about Girlfriends than with two girlfriends who got a podcast? Like let's just -- I mean, honestly, doesn't this mean that Tracee Ellis Ross is one of our coworkers? Like, that's the map that married my head.
Scottie: [crosstalk] That's very true. Everybody. Yes. [laughter] Absolutely. I agree. The brand is strong.
Sylvia: Thank you for --
Scottie: It will always be strong. Shout out to Strong Black Lead. [laughter] All right, so we'll have plenty of time to talk about Girlfriends, Parkers, all of that in the, in the next couple of months. But for now, let's do a quick check in. How is it going, Sylvia? You have been moving around a lot. You are officially out of Brooklyn. So where are we right now, mentally and physically?
Sylvia: Well, girl, physically, cus that's the easy is answer, [laughs] I am at my mother's house in New Jersey. [laughs]
Scottie: Welcome back to Jerse.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Welcome back to --. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] We accept you. We embrace you. We missed you.
Sylvia: Let me tell you, I -- so I am in Jersey because as you guys know, I'm from here and I wanted to make sure to spend some time with my family before I flew all the way to the West Coast. So I'm spending two weeks here at the pit stop on my way to L.A. And I have to tell you, quarantining the suburbs is much better than quarantining in the city, at least as far as Brooklyn is concerned.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Absolutely.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] At least as far as New York City is concerned. Child, we was in the get -- I -- just if you are in New York right now, I just would implore you to try to find a way to get out for a little bit. Cus even just I've been -- you guys know, I've been taking my quarantine so seriously that I have not gotten even -- I haven't gotten on the subway, a Lyft, a Uber, nothing. So when my mom came and picked me up from my apartment door? Thankfully, I was in the place where she could do that. And she and we drove to Jersey? You woulda thought I had been -- like I was being taken home from birth at the hospital, the way I was looking out the window. Like, oh my gosh, this is what it's like to be in a car again? And like, wow! Look at the -- look at that. Wow! Look at the water. Look at the grass. [laughs]
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Like it was just -- I haven't been outside y'all. Like outside of the city and just seeing lawns and like even just like being able to be in people's backyards and like actually socially distance, because that's been my biggest thing. And that's why I wasn't seeing anybody in New York. Our apartments and stuff are not -- I mean, A, I don't want to be inside anybody's home. It's only safe, I feel like, to do outdoor visits. And we don't really have the space to do that in New York where there's not a lot -- bunch of people around you also. Here in the suburbs, like in central Jersey. -- Yes, I said central. I don't want to hear nothing about it. I mean, you ain't -- I don't know what that means to a lot of y'all. Scottie, I don't even want to hear --.
Scottie: [sighs].
Sylvia: Scottie, you close your mouth right now. This is my time.
Scottie: [crosstalk] My god, here we go.
Sylvia: I, [laughs] I --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] She's in south Jersey, y'all.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I'm in central Jersey. Trenton is central -- Trenton is central Jersey. Anyway, we are right in the middle but we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna do this!
Scottie: [crosstalk] [whispering] Y'all are not in the middle.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This is -- we're not gonna do this! We're not gonna do this!
Scottie: [crosstalk] Go ahead, go ahead.
Sylvia: I -- what I'm hearing you say is that I have been enjoying --
Scottie: [laughs] You had to say central.
Sylvia: I did. I did. Because that's where I am!
Scottie: [laughs] It's crazy.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] [laughs] That's my truth. That's my identity. You can't rob me of identity.
Scottie: And what am I in North Jersey? Are you crazy?
Sylvia: What do you --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I'm in north Jersey?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You're in Newark?
Scottie: Piscataway.
Sylvia: That's Central Jersey too!
Scottie: [sighs]
Sylvia: [crosstalk] So here we are together in central Jersey. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Go ahead, Sylvia. Goodbye. Sylvia, go ahead. [laughs]. Go ahead. Only Jersey people would understand that.
Sylvia: No! But yes. It is. That's that's very specific for y'all. But it's just been nice that people have backyards here. People have decks with tables and porches. People just have pools. You know, I've just been -- I've been able to watch movies outside. I've been able to swim.
Scottie: Oh my god.
Sylvia: And even just having family time. I mean, I'm in the house with my mother, my sister, my stepfather. So, like, I ain't been around this many people since 2019. [laughs].
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: So like, literally, it's definitely been an adjustment. But like, in the best way. But I think it also made me realize how much quarantine and isolation did have me -- like how how isolated I was. Because I really did feel a bit like shell shocked to be outside. Like it was -- even just being around people for a while. I was just like, like I realize how much I had become a shell in that way. So it is -- and I didn't -- you know sometimes, you know, realize how much you need something till you get it.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: So it is really -- it has been nice to do all of that. I mean, I am sad about leaving New York, but it is been really something to think back on my time there and just reflect on how much I've grown, how many experiences I had. You know, when I got there I was 20 --
Scottie: I saw your Insta stories. I was like, oh, she's doing the -- [crosstalk] over like the letter --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] The most -- And I didn't finish. And that's only like a third of my content. I honestly lived in New York, eight years is a long time. I still need to do part two.
Sylvia: I know a lot of people are like, Why I didn't make the cut down yet? [laughter] The count down yet but yeah, I didn't -- I didn't realize how many were taking it personally, looking for themselves in that. [laughs] But --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yeah, it's the end of an era.
Sylvia: It's a beau -- it's the end of an era and it's been beautiful.
Sylvia: You know, when I moved to New York, I was 22. Didn't know what I was doing. I was in -- going to grad school, I was in a relationship. I'm leaving 30, single and way more zeros in my bank account than I came with --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Hello!
Sylvia: Which matters most. That's what matters most. Okay? Hair long, money long. [laughs].
Scottie: [crosstalk] Money long. Me and broke niggas, we don't get along.
Sylvia: We don't get along.
Scottie: We don't.
Sylvia: So but yeah. More -- but more on that reflection stuff later, about my time here. I want to hear about you Scottie, because let me tell you something. I ain't the only one who'll be on the move in the past ten days or so. You literally broke the Internet last week when you shared that you were going on your first vacation. Like, I knew that would co -- when I saw that tweet, I said whoo, this might cause waves. But little did I know [laughter] Little did I --I couldn't even in my wildest imagination predict --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Child.
Sylvia: The thread of devastation from Black men. Memes, GIFs, just devastation. And then--.
Scottie: Oh Lord.
Sylvia: It was like, you were like, oh let me kill them. Let me finish them off with these bikini-ass photos so they can see exactly what they're missing. And so we can see exactly why she almost killed that wax woman earlier. But it was worth it. Thank you for your service, sis. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Jesus. Yes. Thank you for your service, sis. I'll be back next week. But --.
Sylvia: But talk to me about your first vacation. Because Lord knows I ain't been on yet. So go tell me girl.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It was my first one. And it was beautiful. I had to refuel like my spirit. And I think the only way to do that was to go somewhere. And because it was our year anniversary, it just made sense. He had, you know--.
Sylvia: [laughs] Talk about it.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I don't know why I started glitching when things.
Sylvia: Y'all should see how she started smiling when she thinks about the man! She be --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh please, child.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Then she gets mad at herself for cheesing.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Please.
Sylvia: And it's just all --It's a whole process.
Scottie: Oh no. It was definitely more than imagined, that's for sure. I think about vac -- vacations all the time because we see them on the timeline. We see them on Instagram. Everybody and their mama be going on vacations. But it really is that bitch. [laughter] Like it really is that girl.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Is it as good as it seems?
Scottie: Especially now when we've been, you know, cooped up in this house for, what, five months now? Six months? So --
Sylvia: Oh gosh. Yes, six month. Cus February -- yep. Six months.
Scottie: Yeah. So I feel like, you know, this was really needed. And we were safe. We did everything that we were supposed to do. We made sure that we kept our distance. We did everything. We did everything that we were supposed to do. But it just was really calming and really beautiful to sit by the water and just listen to water. You know, listen to the waves. You know, talk to each other without having any TV in front of us or something like that. Like it was just a change of the routine. And I hate a motherfucking routine. [laughter] So I really enjoyed it. It was fun. Yes, I took pictures with my bikini because I spend a lot of time, I think, over examining my body. I -- I'm very --.
Sylvia: Yeah, I agree.
Scottie: Critical over my body. Over image, period. I spent a lot of time doing that. So I think that was one of my steps into, like embracing what I've done and how hard I've worked to try to do something with this body, you know what I'm sayin? Like make sure the body looks healthy.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You need to -- You need to be proud of it. And I hope the reaction shows you what we tell you everyday.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just more like I was say -- telling my, you know, everybody else. I was like, it's the mental with me, you know, with -- I hope that eventually me showing people will help others. But also like because I don't have a perfect body. And of course I want the perfect body. I'm try -- I'll do --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] It is damn near close. It's very close. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Girl. Girl. Well, thank you.
Sylvia: One of my favorite responses to your bikini post was, How's it feel to be God's favorite? [laughs]
Scottie: It's just cra -- body dysmorphia is real, too. So.
Sylvia: It is. It is.
Scottie: But, you know, with some cool validation from, you know, the people that I love. It was like, all right, because I did send it. I was like, is this crazy? Should I post this? What's -- you know, I had to ask my mom. I was like, Is this nuts? She was like, girl --.
Sylvia: You had to ask your mom? I love it!
Scottie: Yes. Because, like, you know, I do -- my mom spends a lot of time telling me, take pictures in everything. Take pictures --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Remember this time cus your body will never be like this again.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Remember this time! This body -- your body -- That's what she says. [laughter] And she's like, after babies, girl. You just -- you will want to see those pictures again. You will want until you make sure that your kids will have those pictures. So make sure you embrace the body that you have now. So that's what I have been doing. Trying to do that work.
Sylvia: Okay. Well, I love how you -- and I -- I'm here for that conversation, and that's great, too. But I want -- you didn't tell me I -- I got our listeners. I'm not playing with the audience. She's trying to skate out of talking about the specific tease of being on a vacation, bitch.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It's just --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Was it romantic? Was it -- was it sexy? What did y'all do? I mean, don't tell us everything that y'all did. But like -- [laughter]
Scottie: [crosstalk] It was not even like --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Was it like --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It wasn't long. Like it wasn't --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] But what makes it better than a vacation? Like what -- like we are living through you.
Scottie: Well I mean, you the constant sex, absolutely, [laughter] is the vacation part. The -- it's very sexy. And also I think having experiences, new experiences with the one that you love is kinda cool too. Making those, you know, new memories is dope. You know what I'm saying?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: So I -- we did like ATV. We did the -- we dived in a cave. We did all of that. It was really dope. Oh, we did horseback riding. We ziplined.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I saw you guys had a romantic dinner on the water.
Scottie: What -- we did a romantic dinner. You know, for our anniversary dinner. So, yeah, it was very sweet. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. And that's pretty much it. It really [laughter] -- it went -- it surpassed what I thought a vacation was.
Sylvia: That's beautiful.
Scottie: You know. And I think we connected on a different level during the vacation.
Yeah.
Scottie: Although it was short, it was needed and it was necessary. And I think it was something that we took seriously. So.
Sylvia: There we go. That’s what I was looking for.
Scottie: [crosstalk] That was cool.
Sylvia: Thank you.
Scottie: Whatever, Sylvia.
[Music In]
Sylvia: Well, you know, another type of moment that really shapes us but gets talked about much less is our failures. Right?
Scottie: Oh we talking that talk today? -- Yes.
Sylvia: [laughs] So I think we should get real deep and go ahead and talk about some of our failures, because clearly they've been seeing us when we've talked about dating failures. But I think we talk about just personal career stuff as well.
Scottie: [sighs] Child.
Sylvia: Let's get into it.
Scottie: Alright.
[Music Out].
Scottie: It's really important to speak openly about our failures because a lot of the time it's so easy to see everybody's, you know, wins and everybody's glory on Instagram, on social media. I mean, everybody will speak openly and loudly about their wins, but no one will speak with the same amount of pride about their failure. And I think that's very important. I think people need to see both sides and know how to go back and forth with it. You know what I'm saying? How to navigate through failure. And the only way they're gonna learn is if somebody speaks openly about it. And that's what we're about to do right now.
Sylvia: For sure. And I think being Black with a platform, it's even more crucial for us to share that insight for folks. Like you said, they can see the full spectrum. I think even for perfectionists and type As like myself, having to feel proud of my failures is something that they were taught to do. It's a hard thing to wrestle with. And I think the more we do speak about them, the more we see how much what we classify as a failure always did turn into a lesson of some sort that brought a future win. And I'm really excited to be vulnerable in this way with our listeners, because I do think that it's easy to see me and you and well, they had this Netflix podcast. She was at Buzzfeed. She's on billboards in Times Square. You know, she was hosting on TV. She was doing this. And it's like, you know, she was at Hot '97. She was at Essence. It's easy to see those things and think like that's us, right.
Scottie: Mhmm.
Sylvia: But in between those moments were, ugh. [laughs].
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: You know.
Scottie: But there's a lot of fails in between those wins, you know what I'm saying?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Exactly.
Scottie: Yes, there's a lot of wins. But I think we have twice as many failures. I'm -- I do. Shit. I have twice as many failures than I do wins. My wins were --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I started counting in my head. I said, I have to count this. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh no. [laughs] You brought all the fingers. You was like, now --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Twice as many! [laughs]
Scottie: Twice as many. Yeah, I think. But I'm not even counting some of the like, some of the physical losses. Like, you know, certain opportunities and stuff like that. Sometimes I even talk about the -- me failing at having confidence to even say yes to an opportunity.
Sylvia: Mmm. Ooh, yes.
Scottie: So I count those as failures too. You know, the failing of having confidence in myself or failure of seeing myself in positions that God saw for me,you know what I'm saying. Or see for me, you know what I'm saying? So I count all of those. That's why I say, like, double the amount. Double the amount.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No that makes sense. Well, I think you -- that's a good segue. I think, like, the first thing I feel is we should maybe talk about are like, missed opportunities. I think maybe it's a good place to start, to ease into this before we get a real detailed. Because I do think that obviously, you see like there's the failures that happen when you do get something. But like Scottie said, sometimes you miss opportunities because of a lack of confidence or a lack of resources or whatever the case may be.
Scottie: Yeah. Absolutely.
Sylvia: I think from you know, for myself, I think about missed opportunities, I -- how many missed opportunities I had when it came from, when it just came to confidence in like, my writing. Right, like.
Scottie: Girl.
Sylvia: I, you know, I'm a writer by like trade and like a profession, education. Like I, you know, went to journalism school for print journalism and then went to grad school for the digital journalism because I realized print was dying and it was like, all hell! [laughs] I wanted to be and Editor in Chief of Vibe. And Vibe is gone. So what we gonna do?
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right, right.
Sylvia: But it's, I think for me, you know, my first writing job professionally, officially was at Essence magazine. I used to write for their news section. And occasionally, like Cori Murray, shout out to Cori, would let me get an entertainment story here and there.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh, Cori.
Sylvia: That's what I -- she knew that's what I really wanted to do, [laughs] even though I was doing the news work because that was my background. But I think that for me, there were times where certain editors and during my time in certain magazines made me feel like because I wasn't writing the way they wrote -- and I think this also comes in like a generational barrier thing. Like us coming as millennials, we're do -- we're -- there's a lot of we're doing journalism a lot different than Gen Z did. And that will be the same for Gen -- I mean, than Gen X did. And they'll be the same for us and Gen Z. Like there's differences in our technique, how personal we feel like we can be. You know, like, you know how comfortable we are. You know, how lax we are with our audience when we're writing. And I do think that there were some situations where I was made to feel like I wasn't as good of a writer as I thought I was.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: And because of that, I found myself stopping myself from pitching myself to do certain big stories that required a lot of writing.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: I've been reading Essence my whole life. What am I -- you know, who am I to think that I can beat at the same level as these women who, like, shaped my ideals of what my career -- I wanted my career to be? But I did realize that, like letting bad -- like letting harsh edits or anything like that get into your mindspace and like making you feel like you aren't a good writer just because you may not be somebody's certain type of writer is not fair to yourself.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: And I just think about the amount of cover stories I probably could have gone after or feature stories I could have written more. Or even when I moved onto BuzzFeed, I came into BuzzFeed writing like the list-icles. Right like the lists, like 25 things that Gabrielle Union did this week.
Sylvia: They're going to make you say, Yes! Or like, you know, like here's the quiz about A Diff'rent World [laughter] or like, here's that. Because to me that was easy. That was me not challenging myself. Like I can do a list. Like that to me, it's not me having to put myself out there to write long form. And so it wasn't until the Blac Chyna story, which is -- was in 2016 that--.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Went vi-ral.
Sylvia: And I had been at BuzzFeed for over a year at that point and I had -- it had been two years or three years since I had started at Essence at that point. So like I would say, maybe it had been two years since I had written anything long form. And I had never written anything that long before because it, you know, in book magazines you don't get that much worldspace that you do digitally. So I would have never-- you want to talk about like how -- just to give you an idea of how many missed opportunities I probably had -- did because of my lack of confidence in writing for a little bit once I made it to the professional level that I always aspired to be at. And then let myself get intimidated because I didn't write like, you know, Ta-Nehisi Coates or like [laughs] --.
Scottie: Right. Right.
Sylvia: You know, like Nikole Hannah-Jones. It's like I had to learn that just because I don't write like them does mean that my writing is --.
Scottie: Comparison is the thief of joy, is what they say all the time.
Sylvia: Yes, and just because I didn't write like them didn't mean that my writing didn't matter, didn't mean that my voice didn't matter. And I think that Blac Chyna story proved that to me. But I also was so mad at myself because when that thing broke, like when that story came to be, I didn't pitch myself for that story. And this is why it's like about Black women being around you and lifting you up when you don't see it in yourself. Because I do remember it was like in Slack and like, it was like right when Blac Chyna announces she was pregnant with Robert's baby. And like the head of like the culture team was like, we need somebody to write a story about this, but we have to do it quick because everybody's going to write about this because Black Twitter was blowing up with -- Black women, like somehow celebrating it but not knowing why they were. They're like, I'm happy about this cus it seems like a revenge thing but I'm not sure why I feel this way. And I was like -- and then they were like, who can we get to write it? But we don't have enough time to commission a freelancer so we need to use somebody in-house. And I wasn't even in the Slack when this conversation was happening. Stacy -- shout out to Stacy-Marie and Bin from BuzzFeed and those -- some of these other women were like Sylvia knows the most about the Kardashians and Black culture like she seems to be the person who can do this story. So they asked me to write it and that wasn't even my job. That wasn't my department. That wasn't my section. They plucked me from writing my little listicles and we're like, hey, we want to give you this shot. Thankfully, I had a manager at the time who was cool with letting me take a week away from, like, what my job usually was to write this story. I actually only had like two weeks total to write that whole 4000 word story. Like, I think it was like a week actually, because then the other week was edits. But like I -- I literally was like this was the biggest undertaking I had ever had to do my career. So the fact that, like, I was able to hit it out of the park like that, thanks to the Black woman who made me believe that I could do it. You know what I mean, made me believe, like Sylvia, like you -- let's let hope we do this. And that thing had like, a million views on the first day. And I had never --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yes you were on fire roll.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Or something. And there was like 4000 words. It was so long. People -- we were being told people don't read anymore. So like to write that many words and for it to go viral. And it made me sit back and think like, how many other stories could I have had by now that I didn't allow myself to do because I let people for so long made me think I wasn't good because I wasn't writing the way they thought I should write.
Scottie: Right. And that helped you put the battery in your back to be like, okay, I could do this shit.
Sylvia: Yeah and like --.
Scottie: This shit is possible.
Sylvia: And then I -- yeah, that and like, never again. Don't let anybody make you doubt your talent just because it looks different from theirs or different from the way that they think your talent should look.
Scottie: Right right. No. Yeah, that I agree with. And I can relate too. I think because my story starts with me dropping out of school. I dropped out of school. So when I dropped out, people were like, you know, more so, what is -- what is she gonna do? What is she gonna do? What is she about to, you know, start on where -- what path is she about to go? People were trying to make sure that I wasn't making the wrong decisions. Because, you know, there is a stigma about people dropping out of school and, you know, they're headed for fucking the worst. [laughter] And I'm about to be, you know, all these bad things. But I mean, I think I put a lot of pressure during school trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And I did not know what I wanted to do. I saw that a lot of my friends had their profession. They had what they loved already. They were working on it. And it was just -- then it was just me, who just loved music and didn't know how to get or find a lane with music that I could do. Like something that I enjoyed. My mom is a radio personality, so I didn't want to do that because she was already a radio personality. And I feel like I would be just like just jumping off her stuff. And I was like, I want to be my own person. You know what I'm saying.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: And I didn't want to be Shayla's daughter. So I wanted to find my own lane, which means that I also spent a lot of time because I dropped out of school and because people seen it as a failure. I walked around as if I was a -- I was the failure.
Sylvia: You were carrying that failure on your back almost.
Scottie: Right. I -- I didn't -- Yeah, well, I let it define me.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: I let the failure define me. I became that failure. So I walked around with, you know, thinking, yeah, the dreams will always stay dreams, you know what I'm saying. But I've never envisioned this great grand life or, you know, doing something that will bring you so much joy that you can't -- you you you smile every morning, you wake up. You know what I'm saying. I could not ever imagine that at the age I was, what? I was 21, 20.
Sylvia: Yeah. They didn't tell us to the jobs that were possible back then in college. They didn't tell us about that --
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. Well, yeah. Well, my mom loves what she does.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Well yes.
Scottie: And I think that I've had a lot of -- I was just like, I need to find something that I love. And because I could not find something, I thought I wasn't worthy of that.
Sylvia: Ooh.
Scottie: I wasn't worthy of finding something that I love. But one thing that I think this did teach me was I am a hustler. So I work. This one thing that people can't do more than me is work. I will outwork you every time.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Outwork you.
Scottie: I will outwork you any time. I put money down on it. I'll do it every time. But through outworking and all these things like that, I started to realize that there may be a chance for me to get into some type of lane, some type of music lane. I made sure that my jobs -- I have four to five jobs. I made sure that all four to five of my jobs were in the music lane. But with that, I still held back. I still, you know, if there was a moment for brand amb -- I was a brand ambassador for Hot 97 and also Kiss FM, which means I was out there in the street. It was called Street Team. I was out there in the street, trying to figure out what's happening in the streets. But I refused to get on that mic. I refused to talk on the mic because I didn't think that I had it. And nobody really told me that I did have it.
Sylvia: Imagine, you refusing to get on a mic.
Scottie: So -- [laughs]
Sylvia: What a tragedy that was just, you never picked up.
Scottie: So. Right. I would have anxiety because I don't think I could match up. One, to my mom. And and one, to anybody's expectations of who I am or what I'm supposed to be.
Sylvia: That's real.
Scottie: And I didn't want to -- I didn't want to disappoint anymore. I've disappointed everybody all the time. You know, I'm disappointed everybody with school. So I was like, I'm just going to play. You know, I'm just going to make sure I make some money --.
Sylvia: You were playing it safe.
Scottie: So that my mom won't think that I'm making -- right. I'm -- my mom wouldn't think that I'm making the wrong decisions. I'm working. I'm doing what I can. But to do more? No. Because I was afraid. I was so scared that, like, I would disappoint.
Sylvia: Take a risk, you have to jump. And there's a chance you might fall. [crosstalk] And you didn't want to give yourself any room to fall.
Scottie: [crosstalk] And -- Yeah. And falling is not fun. Right.
Sylvia: That shit hurts. It does. Like [laughs] it hurts.
Scottie: It was not fun. So I've missed tons of options. I'm sure there are opportunities that I even know existed today that I still say -- I said, no. I haven't -- you got to figure out when you are going to take a chance on yourself. And that starts with being honest with yourself.
Sylvia: Like, to your point, I spent years avoiding being on camera. Years.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Sylvia: When they -- if it wasn't for me working in a company at like, BuzzFeed where they do videos all hours of the day and they need people to hop in videos here and there. And it was very like, small doses at first --.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: I would have never ended up on camera, which means like I like -- because when they started doing the studio thing and they wanted me to do, you know, to co-host occasionally on AM to DM. When they offered -- like when they told me they wanted me to do “Hella Opinions,” initially I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I can do this. And they're like, have you seen yourself on camera? And I'm like, yeah and I hate looking at myself on camera. Part of the reason why I write is because there's still a level of anonymity. People can just judge me for my work, my words.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: When I put myself on camera, they can now judge my appearance, my weight, my hair, my skin. I am now putting myself up for offering in a way that even though I love --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] And that's something else to carry.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: That's more to carry. That's way more of a burden sometimes.
Sylvia: Sometimes.
Scottie: You're like, I'm dealing with enough. Now I gotta put my image into it now? And now like, I have to sit here and read the comments of people saying shit --.
Sylvia: Mhmm.
Scottie: That I didn't want to read in the first motherfucking place? Yes.
Sylvia: Thank God we got over that, though, because, like, A, they wouldn't have this podcast. Like.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Child. Yeah. But, yeah.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] [laughs] But like, so many of those things are true.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: But carrying failures on your back is a real thing. And I think, you know, to move on to like another aspect of failure is beyond missed opportunities, that get -- that hurt, is that falling we talked about. Right. Like when you do take a risk and you feel like for whatever reason, it didn't work out. Cus I think, like you and I have both had -- and I'm not here speak for you but atleast I know. Like, I've had jobs that -- Dream jobs that I just knew oh my God. This is it. Like, I wanted this my whole life. And then it just like blows up in your face in a way where it's like, even if the job was the failure and not you personally, it's hard for you to not connect the two.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Because like, for example, like like I said, like my -- I spent my whole life wanting to write for Essence magazine. You couldn't tell me that wasn't like the goal. So the fact that I actually got there --and I had to humble myself by taking the internship after getting my masters degree to get there. That was my dream job. And once I got -- nobody tells you what to do once you get your dream job and then it's like, and then, now what? Right. And then you get there and maybe it doesn't even look like you thought it was going to look like. And I had so many great mentors and great moments and great stories and opportunities at Essence, I want to make that very clear during my time there. But I also think people in media, especially Black media know this, so much change happens in leadership at these publications --.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: So often that the people who may have been there to support you at a certain point leave. The people -- the leadership changes, the ownership changes. And there's like all of these other things that play a role in it. And then also, like media was falling. And I -- to give like a time perspective, this was around like 2014, 2013. And like Essence was still owned by Time Inc, but they were doing layoffs all the time.
Sylvia: I saw about four -- three to four rounds of layoffs in two years at Essence. And I saw people who were like legends to me get laid off because of budget situations. And like my turn came. I got laid off from Essence. And when I got laid off from Essence because -- especially because I didn't see it coming. To me, it probably felt like how you felt when you left school, because it was like I worked all my life to get here and now I'm being laid off? When I tell you I've never felt more like a failure that day than when I sat in the person's office, who sat -- looked at me and told me my job was no longer there and to leave my laptop at my desk and take my things and go. At a place where you feel like you poured your -- not just the two years of my blood, sweat and tears into, but then the 24 years of my dreams into. I still remember I was so stunned that like, I had to like, thankfully, one of the women who worked there, like was like, let's go get a coffee next door. Because she could tell I didn't even know, like, what to do. And it's also embarrassing, even though, you know, like, it's not -- it's not fully you.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It's beyond your control. It's not you, right.
Sylvia: It's beyond your control but it's embarrassing to feel like I was expendable to you all. Like you -- like I was expendable to you.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right.
Sylvia: You have to look around and see who to cut. And you feel like I wasn't good enough to keep.
Scottie: A lot of these brands will do that, too, though. These these places, they will have you put your blood, sweat and tears and dispose you like you literally have done nothing for the company. And that, you know, that really fucks me up because even your amount of loyalty belongs to this brand, to this, you know, wherever. And you spend so much time making sure they know that you have put this first. You have made this a priority.
Sylvia: Mhmm.
Scottie: Then when they've decided to sit there across from you and just act as if you never did any of it, none of it ever happened.
Sylvia: It's like a breakup. Not for nothing. It's like when --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Sylvia: A man looks at you like you ain't give him your all and all this stuff. And he's like, yeah, I moved -- I'm moving on to somebody else.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Move -- right.
Sylvia: Like. And you're like --.
Scottie: With the swiftness. [laughs] Not a second -- It felt like, you didn't even give it a second thought. You didn't try to debate this within, you know, you're, you're --.
Sylvia: And you know you be wanting to ask follow up questions. Like did you fight for -- like did you--.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right? Did you fight for me?
Sylvia: Did you fight for me? Or is it just like --.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Like who who all thought this was a good decision? Like.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Who -- and like, you can't even get that closure most of the time.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: So it's like, it's it's -- it was painful. And I definitely felt like I hit the ground, like, sobering. And, and I think for me, the biggest lesson I got from that was to not let my job ident -- be my identity.
Sylvia: The amount of loyalty I had to Hot 97. I had, you know and I still do. I love Hot 97. I love Kiss FM. I love WLS. I will speak about radio like, you know, me, that's my girl. Like that's my girl. I love radio. But the amount of loyalty that you, that you have to put into a brand that never said they loved you.
Sylvia: Mmm.
Scottie: You know what I'm saying? And lot of times you -- in my job, you have to play your part, know your role. Right.
Sylvia: Sure.
Scottie: Meaning, you know, you can't try to get a higher position. You have to stay where you are. And shine there and hope that somebody sees that you are doing [laughs] the work. You know what I'm saying. But if you are stepping out to try something new, you are also stepping on somebody else's toes.
Sylvia: Whew! Baby.
Scottie: [crosstalk] And that's where the --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Baby.
Scottie: The fights start. Right.
Sylvia: [singing] Talk about it.
Scottie: That's where my failures --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You get creative and somebody gets intimidated --.
Scottie: Child. Because being new or being young in any industry is a struggle. I know that being older in the industry, too, is a struggle. Niggas just trying to keep they job. I get it.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] That's why they get so defensive. I get it.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. And I, and I understand. But I think I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that I made everybody else comfortable.
Sylvia: Yes.
Scottie: I wanted to make sure that everybody knew that I wasn't coming for their job. I wanted everybody else to know that, you know, hey, you know, I'm just trying to learn the boards because I want to be well rounded in radio. [crosstalk] You know what I'm saying?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Not because I'm trying to take your job.
Scottie: Not because I'm trying to take your job. I'm not trying to do anything. You know, I was so scared to step on toes and plus, my mom wanted me to step on all the toes. She wanted me to heel toe. [laughter] She wanted me to do the A-town stomp on these niggas' toes. But you also see these people as family and you want them to keep their job, too.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: But when I'm getting paid $8.50 cents an hour, I would walk from the -- this is when I lived in Jersey. So my job was in New York. So I would walk from Hudson all the way down to Penn Station. And then when I got on the train -- I tell everybody this fucking story -- I will sit in the bathroom. I will wait in the bathroom for the guy to, you know --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] The conductor.
Scottie: [crosstalk] The conductor to pass so that he won't -- he --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Look for your ticket.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I don't have no ticket. It's expensive. It's $12, it's $11 --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah. Man.
Scottie: Hours to get home. You know what I'm saying. I didn't have that. I was sleeping at the radio station like probably three times a week. So --
Sylvia: See? This the part they don't -- that's the part people don't think about.
Scottie: Right. So then -- they don't think about that. But like, so when I decided to take a step out and be like, yo. I might -- could do this radio thing. Like if I learn about the boards and I learn, you know, everything I need to know. I think I could do this. Once I started, I was told by someone who was not Black, that there can only be one dark skinned girl on the radio.
Sylvia: They can't even -- they can't even see you on the radio and still colorism exists.
Scottie: That is nuts to me!
Sylvia: That shit was paralyzing because I never knew that to be true. And I was like, okay, well, I have to work hard. But now I think my focus has to be on some other dark skinned girl? Which is just nuts too.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Like, it's breeding for competition.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: It's breeding to make you look around and be like, oh my God, there's to be dark skinned girls here. I'm never gonna get a shot.
Scottie: Right. And luckily, you know, luckily, my mom has raised me to be somebody, you know, who doesn't really do that. Who'll never tried to pit myself against somebody based on color or anything like that, you know what I'm saying? I'm not doing any of that. I'm just gonna do the best that I can do. And I didn't get it. I was try -- I tried out for overnight. I did overnight for a little bit. And then I was given the choice to either go overnight or do morning show, which is being a digital producer for morning show. But overnight I can be a radio personality. And so they went with somebody else, who has dark skin. And I was like, okay, well, maybe that is the game. I automatically took it as they don't want me on the radio. They don't like me. I'm actually just not good at this. I'll never do this again. You don't ever have to worry about me on the mic.
Sylvia: Right it's like -- it's like you have to fight the urge to pack up your bags and go. [laughs]
Scottie: Oh, shit. I packed up my bags. I was like, I am a digital producer now.
Sylvia: Let me pack up my little dusty dreams.
Scottie: Right. [laughs]
Sylvia: Put them back in a suitcase. My bad y'all. [crosstalk] Close it up.
Scottie: They never using it. Goodbye.
Sylvia: Let's pretend it never happened because that's --.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: What it will do to your confidence. And your doubt. Like it will just make you -- it'll confirm every doubt you have in your mind.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: And it will make you not push forward. I apply to be an Essence intern every summer from my junior year of college, senior year of college. I didn't get it till I was in my graduate school. So three years of applying into it to get it, right. Every year I didn't get it felt like a rejection. I applied to BuzzFeed before I left Essence. And I got laid off from Essence and was like, Lord, now I really need this job.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Didn't get it. It was down to me and another Black girl. And they, you know --.
Scottie: Of course.
Sylvia: Couldn't take us both. And then--.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: And then I had to I applied again at the top of the year -- cus you know. And this is a thing I think is a very important lesson for people, because I do think it's very instinctual to when you fail to run. Like you're saying. Like to go and to never look back. To me, the greatest thing I could have done in my career was to push forward despite the shame or humiliation I may have felt and stuck -- stayed the course. Because for me--.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Every time I didn't -- if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here right now. Like I had to -- have every job I've had, I've applied to twice.
Scottie: Some people think that the sign is to try something else or do something else when that's not the sign.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Hmm, yeah.
Scottie: Sometimes the sign is to try it again.
Sylvia: To keep going.
Scottie: To try harder. To do it differently. You know what I'm saying? Keep keep focusing --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: On this dream, but find another way to go about it. Or just work harder or you aren't getting it.
Sylvia: You gotta show people how bad you want it.
Scottie: Right. And so, like, you know, younger me, of course, I would be like, yep that's God. You know, I'm big -- I'm a big fan of the universe sign. [laughter] Universe said, I ain't shit so I'm a go ahead and pack my shit. But that couldn't, you know -- and it was God saying, no, no, no. You need to try a little harder.
Sylvia: The biggest decision you can make for yourself is, How do you act when you fail? That is the character defining moment. Because if you act out when you fail, you can blow it up for real.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: But if you do it right, like even like for me. Yes, I got laid off at Essence. But now -- I also did center stage at Essence Fest after that. I've also wrote a cover story for Essence after that. I also have -- what -- we were just featured in Essence last week --.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: With this podcast.
Scottie: And I tweeted about how you act after you fail. Just basically saying like, yes, if you cry, you can stomp. You can be mad as fuck. But as long as you keep going -- you know, stopping is not an option. I will cry. Stomp. Pi --I mean, I am pissed.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You could cry but you better keep climbing that mountain --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] You better --.
Sylvia: With tears running down your face.
Scottie: Pure crying literally. But keep going.
Sylvia: Just don't stop.
Scottie: I have a question. Let's talk about our, like our 20s. Right. Because this is all in our 20s. This all happened in our 20s.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: If you were to give a title --.
Sylvia: Shit.
Scottie: Or like a -- yes -- [laughter] a chapter. What would you call the chapter of your 20s?
Sylvia: Whew. Maybe I did -- Good girl. I mean, it might be But God. But God. [laughter] Cus that's the end of every sentence.You told her she couldn't get the internship? But God.
Scottie: [crosstalk] But God.
Sylvia: You laid her off, but God. You told her she couldn't write, but God let her go viral with the story.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Hello.
Sylvia: You told her she couldn't be on camera, but she was on camera. You told her that she couldn't -- you know she would too talkative and this and that, and too opinionated, she called you know, she got a podcast. You told them -- you told Scottie, two Black girls couldn't be on nothing. Here we are, two dark skinned Black girls rolling, hosting this show. But God.
Scottie: Hello. But God! [laughter] That's amazing. yes.
Sylvia: What would -- what would yours be?
Scottie: Min -- mine would be, your silence will not protect you. Which is Audre Lorde quote.
Sylvia: Whooooo! Who who who.
Scottie: I love that line. That quote. I couldn't do that anymore. And you know, when I speak of silence, I also speak of myself. Me not talking to myself and being honest to myself. And asking those tough questions that I need to answer before I go ahead and try these opportunities and do this, you know, embark on this journey that I want so bad. So, like, you know, why don't you think you're worthy? You know, questions like that and trying to get your hands dirty, with trying to figure out how can we muster up some confidence for you.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: Because you're gonna fail. And you would -- you want to know what you do or what can -- how can you prevent this from happening next time?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: Yes, it's gonna take reflection but I do think everybody deserves some sort of answer as to why they weren't chosen to be on the radio.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Scottie's like emotion -- this got real specific.
Scottie: [crosstalk] This is all my -- I'm like somebody should have told me -- [laughter].
Sylvia: [crosstalk] The sentence went on and I was like, wait. This got real specific. [laughs].
Scottie: Somebody should have said something.
Sylvia: If that one supervisor could get back to one -- Ms. Beam on time. That would be great. Email. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Please. Thank you. All them damn demos and airchecks. I am livid. But yeah. I got through it. I got by.
Sylvia: But honestly, I feel relief from just having this conversation. Cus it's really hard to talk about your failures. And sometimes it --you don't realize how much of that you hold in you until you get it out in a lot of ways and how helpful it can be. So thank you for sharing these stories, Scottie.
Scottie: Well, no, thank you Sylvio. Thank you for sharing your time.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You know, I try to talk a little bit.
Scottie: You know you -- no you be talking. That's one thing about you. You going talk. My Sylvio be talk-ing. My baby got bars 'pon de bars.
Sylvia: I love how she made that sound loving. [laughs].
Scottie: A hot 16 for your ass. Real quick. Yes. No, I enjoyed talking about that. This is probably one of my favorite things to talk about. And I'm happy to talk about it with you.
Sylvia: Me too. [sings] Cause you're beautiful. Oh, whoooo! Ooh, oh, oh.
Scottie: [crosstalk] [sings] Oh, oh, oh.
Sylvia: But, yes. Listen, there is -- we hope, hearing our failures offer you some more perspective on the never ending journey to success and also remind you to have more kindness with yourself. Please be kind to yourself.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: And like the late and great Kobe Bryant said, once, you know what failure feels like, determination chases success.
Scottie: Right. And if you can make sure that you hashtag Okay, Now Listen and tell us, what's your biggest lesson was with failing?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: I think that's -- would be very helpful because I think everybody has a big lesson. And I would love to learn, especially about our listeners, what they've learned about failing.
Sylvia: Yeah. Cus we gonna keep failing. What we gonna do -- we gonna do --
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh, we gonna continue to fail, sis.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I was gonna do that anyway. Like so -- [laughs], so help me next time it happens.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Cus that's who I am. I'm a fail.
Sylvia: Cus that's just who I am. [laughs].
Scottie: That's just who I am. I'm a fail. Regardless.
[Music In].
Scottie: So do understand. I'm a be here.
Sylvia: [laughs] Oh god.
Scottie: I'm a be here right with you with the failing, sis. But we going win too. I'm never done winning. Do understand that. We will never be done winning. All right. Now is the time where we put y'all onto things we enjoy and hopes that you can enjoy it, too. Sylvia, what are you recommending this week?
[Music Out]
Sylvia: I want to recommend two books that really helped me get through the failures and times in my life where either I had lost the confidence after failure or just needed -- or in myself because of missed opportunities or just needed help navigating my career. Sometimes reading about other people's failures and how they overcome -- came them helped me not feel so alone. So the first one is Shonda's. Shonda Rhimes' is a Year of Yes -- The Year of Yes, because A, I relate to Shonda so much on just like a writer, creative level. Like of just being in your head all the time and all of that stuff. But I really could relate to her talking about how the lack of confidence she had in herself and her appearance, how it kept her from doing, you know, certain on air opportunities as she became a more of a well-known show runner and how it made her commit to saying yes to everything for a year to see how much and how far she could go if she stopped missing opportunities. And that is the book that inspired me to do my own year of yes, which is how I ended up being on camera myself. Because I told myself I was not going to nay no. And then niggas offered me a show. And I was like, well, I guess I gotta say yes. Cus that's the rule that's happening right now. And it definitely spearheaded my career to a place I never saw it being. And I am super thankful for this that even just that practice. So if you want to book about that, Shonda Rhimes, The Year of Yes is a good one. The other book I want to recommend to put you guys on to really fast is el -- Elain Welterpths, More Than Enough because that book really -- her talking about her career highs and lows and overcoming media specifically, which is obviously the lane I'm in, felt it was strategically really helpful, but also just, you know, to hear the words of wisdoms that people like Ava DuVernay and other people gave her as she was navigating, you know, working for mainstream publications and navigating her own self identity and her worth and becoming bigger than the brand or any publication. Like that was really helpful to me. But also just knowing when to quit, when to stay, when to fold, when to -- just -- it's very, a lot of this shit is strategic. And I definitely felt like reading her experience helped me even think through some decisions that I was facing in my career at that time. So I think especially if you are in media, these are two books that would be great for you. What about you, Scottie? What do you have to inspire the people this week?
Scottie: Well, I am in between giving you songs that will lift your spirit and songs that will, I guess, make you get up out of bed. Meaning like, you know, being sad over a certain situation and, and giving you that motivation, that extra push to make you go for it. You know what I'm saying. So, I think it's a mix. So first of all, shout to Lupe when he said hip hop saved my life. It really did. It saved my life. So music was a big part of helping me move forward, move past my failures. So with that being said, I think I should make a playlist for you guys. And I do love making playlists so this is my own idea and I'm excited to do it. But I want to make a playlist to help you guys and probably myself. I'll probably be listening to it again to help me get out of whatever rut I feel or however I'm feeling after I fail. But these are songs that will definitely motivate you to work harder, to get up, to move forward, to make one step, you know, to to inspire you to actually do what you came here to do. So, yeah, it's going to have Nina Simone on it and it's definitely gonna have Big K.R.I.T. Those were two of my --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I love it. Cus only on a Scottie Beam playlist with you get Nina Simone and Big K.R.I.T. on the same album, the same one. I love it.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Variety. Right. And Big K.R.I.T. -- Big K.R.I.T And if you know me, you know I'm a J. Cole fan. And I'm definitely going to put a J. Cole Song on there. I'm sorry, but I'm going to do it.
Sylvia: Don't -- we hear you and we love it. Can't wait. Can't wait.
Scottie: But -- Can't wait. So excited. So we'll link it in this episode and we'll tweet it out and also we'll be on Sylvia and my page. I'm just putting your social account up there --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I was like okay, yeah.
Scottie: [crosstalk] You gonna be out here promoting it too. Cus you my friend and you gonna support me.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I will be -- [laughs] She just put me on her street team.
Scottie: [crosstalk] And you gonna support my playlist.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] She just put me on her street team.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. [laughs]
Sylvia: [crosstalk] That's -- [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] To promote.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I got you, sis. I got you.
Scottie: [Music In]
Scottie: But yeah, that's -- That's, that's, that's what I'm going to do.
Sylvia: Alright. That's our show. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode. [laughs].
Scottie: [laughs] Our show is a production of Pineapple's Street Studios in partnership with Netflix and Strong Black Lead. Shout out to our team. Executive Producers are Agarenesh Ashagre and Jasmyn Lawson. Our Lead Producer is Jess Jupiter and our music is by Amanda Jones. Special thanks to Max Linsky and Jenny Weiss-Berman. And also a shout out to Amanda Jones for being nominated for an Emmy! Buh-buh-buh!
Scottie: [crosstalk] Ber-ber-berrrrr!
Sylvia: [crosstalk] So proud of you, girl. Also, make sure to share your thoughts with us on this episode using the #okaynowlisten. Like Scottie said earlier, we want to hear about your failures. Share them with us this week. Follow Strong Black Lead on the socials @StrongBlackLead. And follow us, too. I'm @Sylvia Obell.
Scottie: And I'm @Scottie Beam.
Sylvia: Until next time, folks. Stay blessed.
Scottie: Bye!
[Music Out]