On this episode, we start with Scottie discussing her arrival into the 30s club and what she has to look forward to. Then, we chat about the upcoming cuffing season and the play by play points on how to build your quarantine-friendly roster. Finally, we share some home decor and wellness recommendations that'll have your space and face looking right.
Okay, Now Listen Season 1 Episode 13 Transcript
[Music In]
Scottie Beam: You're listening to Okay, Now Listen, a biweekly show where we chat about what's on our minds, what we're bingeing and what's blowing up our timelines. I'm Scottie Beam. I'm a media personality, content, creator, music enthusiast and a winged connoisseur.
Sylvia Obell: And I'm Sylvia Obell. I'm a culture writer, host, producer and lover of Beyoncé. Before we go any further, I've got to welcome my girl Scottie to the 30 Club!
[Music Out]
Scottie: I'm in the club y'all! I -- I --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I've been here for like seven months. But I claim, like, welcome. Welcome. How does it feel? [sings] How does it feel? To be 30.
Scottie: I -- I feel it's been, you know, a few, what is it? It's been like seven days -- no, eight days since I've turned. And I must say that I feel like a 30 year old. You know, I feel like I don't really have time for any shit. Loud noises is getting on my nerves. Like not in my house. [laughter] You know, I'm I'm listening to shows lower than usual. I was having so much anxiety about turning 30. I'm just glad I ripped the Band-Aid off. It's done. I'm here. We in this is bitch. Like --.
Sylvia: Let's do it.
Scottie: And now I get to move forward. Yeah. But it's -- it was amazing. It was amazing.
Sylvia: I love that because I really do feel like, you know, that rose in Beauty and the Beast? And how like, it like, it --.
Scottie: Yes.
Sylvia: That it would drop at each person's time. I feel like that rose is like fucks you give. And then like with each like [laughs] like the rose falls. And then like when you're 30 you're just like --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] . There goes a fuck. And there goes a fuck.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Ain't petals left. There goes the final petal. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] There goes a fuck that I had.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] It's like, I immediately, I cared less about so much.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: I cared less about so much immediately. I saw you in Insta Story practicing saying you're 30 years old and I really want to fight you. You're like -- [laughs].
Scottie: Oh yes. Cus I didn't know how to say it. Like, you know, how old are you? I'm, I'm 30. You know, like there's a -- I am 30. I'm 30. I'm 30. Like there's so many different ways to do it --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Like you were running lines. It's ridiculous.
Scottie: Right. And how to look when you're doing it. You know, because there's a 30 look, too. Like --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Oh my gosh.
Scottie: You know, sultry neo-soul, I'm 30. Like you know what I'm saying? [laughter] I haven't got there yet, but I'm very happy. My birthday was incredible. It was amazing. Thank you for -- to everybody who had something sweet, nice --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No that's right. Thank me first. [laughs]
Scottie: Thank you, Sylvio.
Sylvia: No I'm kidding. Go ahead.
Scottie: My mom --.
Sylvia: Tell us about your day though.
Scottie: Well, it was beautiful. My mom had made a whole 30th birthday dinner, which I thought was just going to be a dinner. But it ended up being a therapy, emotional-ass like --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Wings and a tail.
Scottie: Oh my God. It was a whole session. Everybody was crying.
Sylvia: Aww.
Scottie: Everybody was sharing stories. My aunties came. All -- like most of my aunties came and also like some -- some of my friends who still live in New York came and they held me down. Thankfully, you know, for friends in New York City. But yeah, I had a great time. [laughter] We had a great dinner. But yeah, my mom, you know, this was really big for her. [laughs]. My mom --
Sylvia: [laughs] This is big for her.
Scottie: This is me -- my mom kept saying, I got a 30 year old, shoot. I got a 30 year old. I got a 30 year old. I'm like, yes, you have a 30 year old.
Sylvia: It's a big day for her too. I love that. I saw, like, the little circle they did around you.
Scottie: Yes.
Sylvia: It was so cute and little tribal in that moment. I almost cried --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It was the Auntie Circle basically saying, like, you know, you're almost at that auntie age. [laughter] You know, this is the auntie ceremony and --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Message sended.
Scottie: Right. So, you know, they saying and we were singing together and it just was it was beautiful to see, like, the tribe that really helped raise me, you know? So I am so grateful. I was a crying mess. Just taking it all in. And, you know, seeing these faces whom I loved so much, who have poured so much into me, celebrate me that day. I just, I couldn't -- it was it was it was really the best, probably the best birthday of my life.
Sylvia: I love that for you.
Scottie: Hands down. Yes. And my friends who are away, my besties and all my friends who couldn't make it [laughter] -- they did a little video, it was like a video montage where everybody spoke their peace about me and, you know, wished me happy birthday. Thanks to the BF who put it together. And Sylvia, who executive produced it [laughter] and everybody else involved. I really do appreciate it. Like it was -- I cried. I was a crying mess all day. It was just, it was -- it was a perfect day. It was perfect for me. And I thought that COVID was going to take that from me, but it didn't like.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: I was so just gracious, blessed to have these people in my life. Blessed to have you in my life and, you know, blessed to be able to take that into 30. It was perfect. So, yeah, thirties! That's it. It was fun. And, you know, Libra season goin' leave rush. Shout out to all the Libras, you know, we out here having options and shit.
Sylvia: Oh boy. [laughs]
Scottie: But it's not just Libra season. [laughs] It's not just Libra season, Sylvia. Ah. It is also the season for cuffing. Do you know what cuffing is, Sylvia?
Sylvia: [laughs] You know, it's a practice I can recall from my younger days. No, I -- that -- like cuffing season is always one of my favorite times of yours to observe. You know what I mean? The timeline is clearly already ready. We've got people showing out there how it started DM stories with the Internet. When -- like I love the day and then went crazy with the snowflake emojis after Quavo shared --.
Scottie: Oh yes, God.
Sylvia: Like a magical six words that landed him with Sweetie. I love like all the -- when rappers like, I think Yung Miami from City Girls was like, please stop sending gl --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Facts.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Please keep these snowflakes out of my DMs.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Please.
Sylvia: Like people were getting overwhelmed.
Scottie: But I love that that worked for Sweetie. Like I think it was just a surprise that, it was like damn, that works? Like let me go ahead and put some snowflakes in this because I didn't even know that was possible. Like, that whole exchange to me was like, wow, they're really made free. They spoke a different language and they --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] They spoke each others' lyrics with each other.
Scottie: Yes. They could not -- nobody else could understand but them, which is why they're made for each other cus I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I would been like what are you saying?
Sylvia: When he said, you so icy, I'm a glacier boy? I think it's because she has that song, "Icy." Like that was her hit. And then -- so then he tried to be Migos.
Scottie: Nope.
Sylvia: I'm a glacier boy.
Scottie: Nope.
Sylvia: I think Sweetie said, what was key in the follow up, which is what a lot of niggas missed. She said, you gotta follow up the DMs with a bag of money -- of some sort. Like she just knew -- like I remember, I read in GQ, actually, my friend Garrick Kennedy wrote the story. He profiled them for GQ a couple of months ago. And they talk about this. Like they shared that the DM exchange there, which is why it was funny to me that it became popular again when they screen shotted it. But they say like how he sent those DMs but then he followed up with, like, I want to see you. Like, come to Atlanta. Like let's do this thing in Atlanta. Like I think their first date was a strip club, Magic City. It was like a full -- like he took her to --
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh yeah, I remember that. Yes, yes.
Sylvia: It was the whole thing. But he -- the key was the DM was part one. You follow it up with action. An action plan, which is where a lot of niggas fail. But that's not where you're BF failed, right? Because I recall your relationship started with a DM slide as well, didn't it? [laughs]
Scottie: Yes. It -- It was a DM slide, yes. We exchanged numbers on DM. And he said he'd text me and I never texted him back. So --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Sounds about right. [laughs]
Scottie: Then after a few months, he had reached out again.
Sylvia: Wow.
Scottie: And then I responded.
Sylvia: But what -- cus here's the thing. I think this is the point of these whole DMs stories, or like even like how it started and where we are now, is like these aren't like, there's there's con -- like you said, there's either action behind it. There's consistency where like -- or persistence where he reached out again. And when he reached out though, like what did he say? Like -- because I do think people are like I DM girls. I send them little emoji all the time. Like if one more nigga me the eye emojis, like I'm supposed to have a whole action plan off of that. I don't -- like, you know what I mean? So like what did he do? [laughs] When --
Scottie: Yeah, no. Which one? The DM? The DMs was base -- like basically hey, I'm coming to see you.
Sylvia: Next thing we know, this niggas -- they're off for the rest of the day. [laughs]
Scottie: That's it. Rest of the day. And that was it.
Sylvia: Despite that, like I said, I was shocked because you -- Scottie is about this life. You be having rules and codes and things to go by. And you seem to have the moves down pact when it comes to this cuffing shit. I've always watched from afar and admired as a close friend and been like dang, like Scottie really got the game [claps] on lock. So I think I'm ready.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yo.
Sylvia: I think I'm finally ready to be coached. Like I think I'm finally in the place in my life where I'm ready to be coached by you on how to properly do cuffing season.
Scottie: That is amazing because guess what day it is. It's draft day. Let's do this. Let's go. I'm so happy you said that. Let's get to it.
[Music In] [crowd cheering]
Sylvia: Welcome to see C.U.F.F Sports. I'm Sylvia Obell and to my right is one of the only all time cuffing Hall of Famer Scottie Beam. Welcome, Scottie.
Scottie: Thank you, Sylvia. Really glad to be here today. We've got a crazy lineup for this year's draft day. And Sylvia, I want to make sure you and our listeners at home are well-prepared for building their cuffing season rosters.
Sylvia: We're really lucky to have you, Scottie. I mean, so tell me, where do we start? We've got a cuffing season like no other this year. How do you think it'll change the game and potential players?
Scottie: You're absolutely right, Sylvia. It's safe to say this cuffing season is drastically different. We've got a whole pandemic that really rushed down the center and threw the game off. But I'm here to say it's nothing to fear. Draft day shall continue. So let's start with how to build out the roster.
Sylvia: Ah, yes. The roster. That is the key situation here for cuffing season. That has always been a fact. I will admit here that this is where I -- this is the reason why I am not a Hall of Famer. I don't think I've ever had more than two people on my roster ever during cuffing season. As a retired serial monogamist, I struggled with building said roster because I'm used to giving guys all of my attention when they're in my life. And that's probably where I'm making the biggest mistake, because I spent 10 years in two relationships, essentially, it's like I didn't know the roster. So explain to me how it's done, because I think I've been giving too much. Because that's a lot of players.
Scottie: Oh, absolutely. Let me let me let me stop you right there. You have been giving way too much attention to any of these niggas. And I will say right here, you can have three, you know, three to five. I'm not saying five, you know, automatically, because it is a lot to handle sometimes. That's for the expert cuffer, [laughter] you know what I'm saying? The beginner cuffers --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This is moderate level.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I would say --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Rookie season. It's my rookie season. [laughs]
Scottie: Yeah. Yeah rookie -- I'll, I'll give you, I'll give you three simply because two is just not enough. First --.
Sylvia: Tell me about it.
Scottie: I --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Tell me about it, Coach. [laughter]
Scottie: First, I want to make sure that people know that cuffing season is for a season. Anything that happens outside of that season has nothing to do with me. I, I do not subscribe to the rest of the other seasons.
Sylvia: You putting out a disclaimer. [laughs]
Scottie: Now I just want to make sure. I am talking about cuffing season as the winter season -- you know, winter months that you want somebody around. Anything after that? Ain't got shit to do with us, Sylvia. Just pointing that out.
Sylvia: Yes. After Valentine's Day, you're on your own, kids.
Scottie: You're on your own. [laughter] All right. Number two, using cuffing season for marriage or trying to get a husband is a no no.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Oh?
Scottie: We don't do that around here. We will check our expectations at the doors. You can pick them up when you go out to get that summer time thing that you are looking for. But when it comes to winter and cuffing season, leave your expectations at the door. When you said, you know, you know, giving all your attention, that's why you need to get three or more so that you won't make no nigga feel special. Just make them feel just --.
Sylvia: [laughs]. Sorry.
Scottie: You know what? I want you to make them feel special but just at the br -- like, I'm talking about just enough --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Once he's a little thirsty for a little bit more special.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just enough to keep him going. You know what I'm saying? But not enough for him --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Keep him interested.
Scottie: To make it to the next day. You know what I'm saying? Let him get by the day and need it for the next. That's all I'm saying.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Next day. mm. Provide a need that it -- needs to continue to be filled, what you're saying.
Scottie: Right. Take your, your time very seriously all the time. Make sure that you know how important your time is to all these niggas. So treat it like that. You know what I'm saying? Again guys, let me just hit this disclaimer. Just to hit. Heads up, heads up.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Stop disclaiming! They know. Just tell them.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I'm in a relationship. I'm happy. [laughter] Shout out to you.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You were -- that's why we said you are a retired all time star hall of famer --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Retired. But also this coming -- But also this is coming from somebody who doesn't date to marry. I don't date to marry. I date for fun. I've always dated for fun.
Sylvia: But isn't there like a thing where it's like, but maybe if -- so, yes. Date for fun. But then you might find the right person. That's what happened to you.
Scottie: It might happen. But I'm not thinking about it at all. I'm thinking about having fun. You know what this person can do, you know, during the winter times that I'll enjoy. And also keeping a short list. You know, Sylvia, you talk about the, you know, a list of things that you want in a person. Shorten that motherfucking list. Because --.
Sylvia: I kept it to one page!
Scottie: [crosstalk] Sh -- no, no, no.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] On a small sheet of paper.
Scottie: [crosstalk] That's for, That's for husband shit. We not looking for husbands! We are looking for niggas to chill with. [laughter] That's -- who can you chill with? Give me like a top three things you need from a nigga just to chill with them. What are the top three?
Sylvia: Good conversation, because if you're bad at it, I'm going to get bored via text, person, whatever.
Scottie: Okay.
Sylvia: Like I need to have good conversation. To chill with especially, it would be helpful if you were funny. Like somebody who makes me laugh, you know what I mean.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right.
Sylvia: So I'm having a good time. I think I'm a funny person. I like to banter and spar, you know what I mean? Like, that would be great. And I mean, obviously, if we're only doing this for fun and we're not thinking about long term things --.
Scottie: Fun.
Sylvia: Attraction matters.
Scottie: Okay.
Sylvia: Looks matter. I feel like they matter here more --
Scottie: Yeah.
Scottie: Than [laughs] when I'm looking for a husband because I understand that you make compromises for good people. But if I'm only here for the pure whatever about it, then you gotta be fine. Right?
Scottie: Okay.
Sylvia: Or at least very attracted to me. If we can just make that like a chemistry, good kisser, good at that type of stuff box. Is that --Am I doing too much now?
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: I mean, like I want to enjoy my cuffing season. Like.
Scottie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I -- One of them can be good at it because also we're not going to be sleeping with all three of them.
Sylvia: Well let's talk about who is on the roster. Help me with these archetypes because I didn't even realize that was a thing.
Scottie: No. You need to have, especially now, you can do whatever you want. Right now, I don't know how y'all don't have about five niggas Facetiming you at the same time.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Cus we we can't meet them anywhere.
Scottie: [crosstalk] How not splitting up your time?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Where am I meeting these --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It's not about meeting.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No, I mean like where am I actually --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Practice on these niggas!
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Where might actually meeting men to --
Scottie: [crosstalk] Practice.
Sylvia: Practice with? Is what I mean. Where are these men coming from?
Scottie: Oh.
Sylvia: In the house? We're quarantined.
Scottie: Listen.
Sylvia: Where can I find the men to have these guys?
Scottie: Why aren't you on Instagram talking back to these niggas? Why aren't you on Twitter talking back to these niggas? Why are you not on them dotting -- dating sites take -- talking back to those niggas? I'm saying.
Sylvia: You know, I don't do dating apps.
Scottie: You know how I met -- you know, I hate to say it, but how I met my boyfriend was I didn't -- I liked some of his pictures on Instagram.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: That was it. [laughter] It doesn't take much.
Sylvia: But it's easier said than done. Also, everybody is not -- I'm sure, there's somebody listening who is like, that everybody is Scottie Beam. Not everybody if, if they, if they see your notifications, they're going to get as excited. I'm just trying to speak to the like, a certain factor there, where it's like, I understand that for some of us, it may feel -- and I'm not even saying I'm fully in that category. I'm just saying that, like, I understand that sometimes you may feel like it's not as easy for you to pull niggas as it is for some other people. But I think confi -- I think confidence plays a role though.
Scottie: Well, confidence, but also, like a lot of people weigh heavy on, like, the outcome of what might happen and they haven't even tried. So I'm not even like -- a lot of them, like, yeah, but I'm not Scottie. Have you tried? Have you tried?
Sylvia: [laughs] Have you tried?
Scottie: Have you tried to like somebody's pictures a few times? Have you tried to do that? No. Okay, then try it. I think, you know, I get what you're saying. I absolutely get it. But try it. You don't know who's interested in you. You have no idea.
Sylvia: If only men would just be forthcoming with that information, it would make life so much easier. [laughs] But here we are. I'm really good with banter like going back and forth and stuff like that via text. But for me my issue was never knowing how to take -- like I feel like we stay on one platform and it never like leaves it. Like I'm like, how do we take things to the next level where you can become part of my roster in any capacity if all we do is sit here. And like because I guess that's -- because I have to get bold enough to to shoot a shot, to even just be like, listen, what we're doing here? Or clarify or make your --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. Or --
Sylvia: Make your intentions known.
Scottie: Or is this what you about? You about just DM and shit? Oh word? A'ight. Like --
Sylvia: So you be belittling niggas. [laughs]
Scottie: But but, just -- all I'm saying is like, alright nigga. Because when it comes to approaching you must approach. If you don't approach I'm going to say, yo, you can't keep texting these eyes, you. Yeah you can't keep DMing me these eyes. That's all that you doing. If this is all that you doing, I don't want no part of it and they eventu -- all the time, they'll figure out, oh let a'ight. Let me, let me pick this up a little bit. You know what I'm saying, because usually those eyes are feelers trying to figure out what's going on.
Sylvia: That's real but I also feel like these reaction emojis have ruined the game because allows niggas to just hit those like heart eyes over and over and over again but never start a conversation with you. And it's like, how many of my selfies are you going to heart-eye and never say a word? Like, what am I supposed to do with this?
Scottie: M-mm. Stop sending me those things. But after that, after you get show niggas or you get a few niggas to text, then you have to separate them into niggas that you text most often. Like you, you barely call. You don't want to talk to on the phone yet. You know what I'm saying? Those niggas are text niggas. Niggas that you practice with. Practice your banter with. Practice, you know, your, your flirting on text and stuff like that. That's cool. You leave that in the side. Then you have a Facetime, nigga who will you Facetime with your clothes on. [laughter] And who you -- you spend a little time -- I say don't ever talk to niggas longer than an hour. That's it.
Sylvia: Oh, I'm breaking all kinds of rules. You know, I'm good for a three --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You can't. You have give a nigga all day!
Sylvia: Well, maybe one. That's why I usually only -- not all day. I have a you know, I'm busy. We work.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I got thing to do. But like all, like all night. Like I've --there's -- if I have like, there's guys who if have I've had really good conversation. Like I'm a sucker for the kind of guy who I could talk to. And then we're on the phone for three, four hours. And it's like, wow, like this conversation was so beautiful and deep and like we really connected here. But we're just gonna-- that's why I don't have time for a roster. Half the time it's like, I only have time to give one three hour phone conversation a couple of times a week. [laughs]
Scottie: Give them a great one hour conversation. A wonderful, wow, that was great. That was deep. You know, I feel like we scratched a little surface. And then end it. We have other things to talk about for other days. There's a whole season. We will talk again.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Right, right. Pace yourself.
Scottie: Right. Pace yourself. You don't need to squeeze in four hours a day with any nigga. No, thanks. So that's one. That leaves you with Facetiming. You could Facetime two to three niggas a day or in a week, depending on your schedule. I don't know how you go. But then you got somebody who you can TV binge with. Somebody who you watch shit with. Yo, you know, let's watch this today and then report back. You know what I'm saying, let's talk about -- [laughter] a nigga that actually, I think the TV binge nigga has a little bit more depth. Just a little bit.
Sylvia: Right. Right. More aware of current affairs.
Scottie: Mhmm, mhmm!
Sylvia: You know, he's cultural -- he's culturally, you know, sound. He understands what's happening in the culture and whatnot.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. Right. Right. And I think altogether, the texting niggas, the Facetime niggas and the TV binge nigga, because there's only one. These niggas don't watch TV like that. But all together -- [laughter] to me I feel like don't --- I don't know what they're doing.
Sylvia: Do we get to -- playing video games all day? [laughs]
Scottie: I don't know!
Scottie: But all together you pick, you know, pick you four of those niggas and then you pick maybe in a real life nigga, nigga that you see in real life. One. One to hang out with. And that means the COVID thing, I got a test and do all that shit. Especially if you trust him enough to do that. Sure. And if you want some dick, go ahead. But I'm just saying pick one nigga, one, to do that with. It's too crazy out here. I would say don't do it at all. Just tease these niggas to the sun come home. But if you want to fuck, sure. Do one nigga.
Sylvia: [laughs] Well, how -- so what you're saying is like, I'm guessing these positions come in order of who you like -- how you, how much you like who.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: Like you like the texting guy you like the least, the Facetime guy you like little bit more, TV binge guy you like a little bit more. Then the guy who you actually hang out with you like the most, is what you're saying here?
Scottie: Yeah. I mean it depends. You could be -- the Facetime guy you could really like, like a lot, more than a TV binge guy. But the TV binge guys is good -- a good person to talk to. That's pretty much it. He could actually be uglier than the Facetime dude. And because for you, you said attraction matters and how they look. It might be the Facetime nigga. It depends.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: And I'm not saying any nigga has to look great too. Like.
Sylvia: Oh, interesting.
Scottie: It's just niggas that you're talking to. It's just people that I'm talking to. Options. Maybe, I might like you. Like it might happen. I just want to make sure I pull out these feelers, see how I feel. And then from there I will carry on.
Sylvia: Yeah. So I won't lie. This seemed like a lot to juggle. Especially for somebody [laughs] like me who was only used to juggling 'bout one, two niggas tops. So what are some of the best ways to manage my roster once it's built?
Scottie: [crosstalk] Listen.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Like, what if the TV guy wants to talk about his binge when it's Facetime guy's time? And but you also have spent the weekend with IRL boo and everybody is mad at you because you're not picking up their calls. Like, how do you, how do you manage this roster?
Scottie: You don't ex -- first of all, I don't explain anything to anyone. Nobody -- [laughter] y'all gotta stop.
Sylvia: Every savage response is killing me cus I cannot. [laughs]
Scottie: Cause I don't -- who are you explaining this too and why?
Sylvia: Well, I mean, like, if you're with the, if you're hanging out with the IRL boo.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: At your house for the weekend and he sees niggas blowing up your phone.
Scottie: Why would you ask me questions about it? You ain't my nigga.
Sylvia: Okay.
Scottie: You're not my boyfriend. And that's another thing. You gotta remind yourself. I know a lot of women do this like where, you know, they use cuffing season as the season to show some nigga that their wifey material. No. That's not what it's about. [laughter] I'm not wifey material. I'm -- [laughter] You're not boyfriend material. I'm -- we're hanging out. And use it all the time. It's not -- We're just hanging out. We're chilling with each other. We're cool. I don't owe you any explanation for the shit that I do, for the calls that I get.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] So don't ask-- better not ask me nothing.
Scottie: No! Don't ask me. And I won't ask you!
Sylvia: And if Facetime boo was like, you ain't Facetime me all -- like all week. It's like, I was busy. Don't be asking no questions --
Scottie: [crosstalk] I was tied -- Yeah. I was tied up. I was tied up. I was doing a bunch of shit. It was buncha shit going on. But yeah, that's one thing, too. Also I know -- well it doesn't matter now because it's COVID but you got to make sure these people, your players are separate.
Sylvia: Right.
Scottie: Like in separate industries. These niggas can't be following each other on Instagram.
Sylvia: That's difficult. [laughter]
Scottie: You know I-- you know, a lot of people are like, yo, I work so much in my industry, it's the only -- the only men that I see are the men in my industry. And I get that. But yo, if you could take some time, friend zone those niggas so that you can hang out with their friend niggas who are outside of this industry, usually. Yo get you some like, get you some like construction industry niggas or some like hospitality niggas or some agriculture niggas.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] [sings] Hospitality.
Scottie: Get you an agriculture nigga. And just like --.
Sylvia: [laughs] A chemical engineer.
Scottie: Yeah. You'll learn more. Get you an accountant. You know what I'm saying? So I think if you friendzone a lot of these niggas that are in the industry and -- haaa, this is a little crazy. This is not crazy, but --.
Scottie: Speak your truth. This is a safe place.
Scottie: This is also how y'all getting caught up. Like you be like, damn, I picked the ugliest nigga out the crew. Nah. This is how you do it. [laughter] See a nigga, ah, he cute. Whatever. Go on his Instagram. See if there's a group of friends that are take -- that have a picture together. Go through each of these niggas' pages and say, you know what, I much rather friendzone this nigga so I could get the real catch out of this group. [laughter] You know what I'm saying? you gotta start --.
Sylvia: So use him. You use him to meet his finer friend?
Scottie: Absolutely.
Sylvia: Is that what you're saying?
Scottie: Yes!
Sylvia: Oh. Okay.
Scottie: I mean, that's how a lot of us use our guy friends sometimes. It's like, yo, you got a lot of guy friends. Then you just keep an eye out about like, you know, their friends that you don't know. And I want to see what they look like. And that's very important. And some of them niggas are accountants. They're teachers. They you know, they work at a hotel or something like that. You know what I'm saying? So I just think if you -- if you keep your mind open to anyone, like any kind of job, I think people care about that, too. But I don't.
Sylvia: Because, again, you're not marrying these people. We only care about what they do --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I'm not marrying any of these --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Because I'm saying, I'm saying this is a reminder to the listener because I can relate to the listener who's like, well, like, you know, like when you're thinking about -- like there's a difference between thinking about somebody who you're just hanging out with and thinking about difference between somebody who you are trying to build something with. And those are two different things. In my, am I different in the sense that, like when I really like somebody, it's hard for me to want to entertain other people on the side?
Scottie: And that's totally fine. And also, the thing is, like cuffing is just not for everybody too. That's totally fine. [laughter] Like, the draft is not for everybody. I keep saying, like, you have to have a certain type of mentality when you do shit like this because if you feel yourself getting like, I need an ex --explanation or needing, you know --
Sylvia: Right.
Scottie: Something. Why he ain't answering? Why he ain't calling, texting me?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Or he canceled. Oh, he canceled? IRL boo canceled on me?
Scottie: Right. Right. So then it becomes you need to check yourself. You wanted just fun and that's what you're gonna get is fun. So have some fucking fun. It really is for a certain type of person. And I think that --.
Sylvia: Or a certain time in your life when you're --.
Scottie: Certain time in your time, your life.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: And, you know, if love does come from it, it comes from it. But I'm never gonna think about it like, this could be the one. This could, you know, hey, I'm thinking about long term and what could happen. And this actually could be something that could, you know, change me forever or whatever. I'm not thinking about that. What I'm thinking -- always thinking about is like, this is gonna be fun. This should be fun. All right, I'll do it --
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: It's fun. And that's it.
Sylvia: And sometimes having low expectations helps you just be yourself more and get people a better chance for you, cus you're not so in your head about it.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Like I'm talking to me now. Like it's like --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Word.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] A thing in that sense. But --
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: That all makes great sense. I understand. What -- you touched on this a little bit, but I do think, you know, we have to fully acknowledge that, it is COVID right now. And that does have -- alter some of the new rules for cuffing season. I think mostly, like I mentioned earlier, the biggest issue about COVID, especially if aside from like how many people you can see IRL. I think you addressed that with like, have one person. And hopefully that one person is doing right by you when they're COVID testing as well, because that's also a tricky thing, because like you --.
Scottie: Yes. See?
Sylvia: You may be, he meet you in person, you're seeing.
Scottie: But if he got like two to three IRL boos on his roster.
Sylvia: Yeah. See? And one of them bitches get COVID. It's a, it's a problem.
Scottie: And that's why I'm saying, yo, it's best that you just don't do in real life.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] See anybody?
Scottie: [crosstalk] Just, think --.
Sylvia: But I think there's probably a lot of listeners who are like, mama got needs, mama got needs. You know, we spoke about these needs on the W.A.P Episode. So to see nobody --
Scottie: [crosstalk] Exactly. And mama, and mama can get you a damn toy and do it and, and think about these niggas that you talkin to. And that's it. You better be safe. Don't play around with that.
Sylvia: Listen, I'm with it. I'm -- I agree. I just know that there are people who do -- you know, it's -- a year is a long time to ask for some people, including -- I mean, we're not, we're not people who would take that that prison sentence lightly. Like Scottie. If you were single this year, there was not just, you know, read -- readily available safe dick at your house. Would you have gone this whole year without fucking anybody, honestly? Truely?
Scottie: Yes. Yeah, because I don't trust niggas. I truly don't trust niggas. I honestly don't trust niggas. And I know we've had that conversation before. Honestly. Truly.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: I do not trust niggas. And especially during the --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No I believe that. Yes.
Scottie: During the time right now, like they could be at several bitches' house. That's cool. Whatever. What I'm saying is, you not gonna be over at this house contaminating it with fucking COVID. Absolutely fucking not, not up here. So, no. I did -- I don't play when it comes to shit like that because this is my live -- I lose my life. You know what I'm saying?
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: That's different. I see my family from time to time. I take that a bit more serious than, I don't know, another person. But I honestly, I don't trust those niggas.
Sylvia: [laughs] I'ma need them to present a fresh, a fresh COVID results tests within the last 24 hours. Like --.
Scottie: That's a fact.
Sylvia: You tested negative. And I need to see your name on it along with non detected for me to believe that you can cross this threshold --
Scottie: Nope.
Sylvia: After a strong recruiting, perhaps. I'm speaking to you, our listeners in Atlanta, especially, y'all know, y'all wide open down there. You're acting like COVID don't exist.
Scottie: [crosstalk] [inaudible] Wilin' out there. [laughter] What's up with y'all? Atlanta, please, hit us.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] All of Georgia's open.
Scottie: What the fuck? Is everything all right at home? What is happening?
Sylvia: It's our Atlanta girls in particular who I want us to -- to hear that message. Okay, sweetie. It's not worth it. [laughter]
Scottie: It really isn't, guys. Please put yourself first. And that's what this is all about. Like that's what this whole draft and cuffing season is all about, is putting yourself first. You know, giving yourself some options, giving yourself some space to be like, hey, I could be interested in more than one nigga. Like, hey, you know, actually things that didn't interest me before interest me now. Why not try different niggas, like different people that I wouldn't have thought about dating? You know what I'm saying? Keep an open mind.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: Let me try being open for once. Let me try like dating a short man.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Speaking to me. Just speak to me directly if you want to.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Right. that's what I'm saying. [laughter] Let me try it because I don't know where this can go. All -- you know, for the, for the hopeless romantics, you know, it could happen like this. I'm not saying it will. I said, it could. Guys, please. [laughter] But It's it's -- this is really about putting yourself first and making sure that you're full and you're, you're having a good time, you're happy and you're having fun. Allowing people to, you know, flirt with you, make you feel yourself a little bit.
Sylvia: Yeah. Give you attention.
Scottie: You know, I do say, yes, draft is not for everybody, cuffing season is not for everybody. But I do hope that some -- y'all try it at least once. Just once.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Like everybody experiences a proper cuffing season in their lives. And I really loved what you said, because I do --- I went to hold on to this point because I do think that especially as women, I think we -- we referenced this deeply in the dating, is the ghetto episode. But -- and so many -- that resonated with so many of you guys, because I do think especially for black women when we date, it's the same way that we do everything else, where it's like we prioritize everybody else's stuff, feelings, emotions, wants and needs above our own.
Scottie: Yes.
Sylvia: I think something I really think is it seems freeing and like cool ab -- and fun about dating in this way, and, you know, and that's for men and women. I know we're talking a lotta shit right now and our male listeners are probably like --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I hate you,bitch.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This is what I'm talking about. This bitches is savage. This is why, this is why I ain't loyal to nobody.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I'm about to get so many --ooh! I'm about to get hate mail out the ass.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This bitch is savage, whatever, whatever. Mouse is gonna have a field day with this episode. But like, literally --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Mmm, boy.
Sylvia: I, I think it's so rare that we get to date and not be so concerned about what the men are thinking about us. You get to be selfish.
Scottie: You don't -- yes!
Sylvia: You get to. You get to be about yourself.
Scottie: And that is the fun!
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yes! [laughs]
Scottie: That is the great thing about ev -- all of this. Like shout out to all my selfish people. Yes. This is your moment.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No! It's Yes!
Scottie: Like to ha -- to enjoy things without thinking about what he thinks about it. And, you know, oh, I care about his feelings too. You don't care. I do not care. [laughter] I don't care what you think about me not texting you back, anything like that. You will get it when I send it. That is it. I don't have anything else for you, sir. I think I'm really big on protecting yourself, too --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Right.
Scottie: When you're in these situations. Protecting, you know, your your trauma too.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: Like making sure that you're not telling everybody everything because sometimes somebody will try to use it against you or something like that. Like, I've -- I've seen that happen. I've actually had it happen. And, you know, Jay-Z went through that so you ain't have to go through that. [laughter] Just just make it --.
Sylvia: [laughs] I fucking hat her.
Scottie: [crosstalk] You don't do her. Shit.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] [laughs] I hate her. I just want y'all to know, I do.
Scottie: Some people didn't reach. and be very careful about that. People who just reach for some in-depth shit so that they can have some shit on you. Protect yourself. Have a good time. Put yourself first and make sure that you know, you are fed. You are full in this. And that's all that matters.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] We deserve.
Scottie: That's all that matters.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Black women deserve.
Scottie: But, you know, I also, just in case, you know, we forgot you. Don't think I forgot, Sylvia, number one. I'm definitely going to do a Sylvia Obelle dating show on my Instagram live. It's coming --
Sylvia: [crosstalk] [laughs] On what?
Scottie: [crosstalk] I am definite --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Wait, what?! [laughs] Wait. You said Instagram Live?
Scottie: Absolutely. On my Live. We will -- I will be interviewing a few niggas for you.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] No, you are -- you are lying to me.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Yes I will be. Yes I will be. You think I'm playing. You really think I'm playing? [laughter] Okay, great. I'm glad she thinks I'm playing guys. Make sure you tune in @ScottieBeam on Instagram.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This is not on the script.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I will be interviewing these niggas. I -- I'm actually making a flier right now as we speak [laughter] of the date --.
Sylvia: Bitch! [laughs]
Scottie: And the time I will be doing it. So when they guys want to, you know, get on in and do this interview with me because we got some talking to do. I look out for my girls.
Sylvia: I -- [laughs].
Scottie: Actually what I plan to do --.
Sylvia: I can't breathe. I cannot breathe. What? [laughs]
Scottie: I'm not playing. I'm not playing. I'm not playing.
Sylvia: That's why I can't breathe cus I know she's serious.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I'm very serious.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] I just didn't know this was -- she broke this on me live and in living color. That's wild.
Scottie: Right. And after we get my girl Sylvia squared away, I'm gonna just start interviewing these niggas who are single, who are looking [laughter] and so y'all too can jump in there DM. I cannot wait. I'm excited to do this.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] See this is a curr -- apparently it's going to be an ongoing, an ongoing bachelorette series cuff season edition. [laughs]
Scottie: [crosstalk] Absolutely. Absolutely.
Sylvia: We're -- Okay, Now Listen, is going multimedia, apparently. So you will have to pay attention on several platforms --.
Scottie: [laughs] To see it.
Sylvia: To keep up. [laughs]
Scottie: Cus it will be happening. I'm dead ass. I know. So you think I'm playing. But I am dead ass.
Sylvia: [laughs] I'm fucking terrified. But also, it's hard out here. So listen, maybe.
Scottie: Yeah. And like, so as you can see, you know, Sylvia, some new rules but the game is still a game. I really hope that folks get out there and not only build a strong lineup, but have fun doing it. So, you know --.
Sylvia: That's the key.
Scottie: 'Tis the season.
Sylvia: Have fun.
Scottie: Go ahead. Have fun.
Sylvia: Having fun is key. And I just wanted to thank you again, Scottie, for sharing these plays with us. You are truly top too, and you're not two. You hear me? [laughter] You -- your jersey is up in those rafters.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It's definitely-- you heard that? It's up there, guys.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] In the north --It's up in the rafters but the north remembers, okay. [laughs]
Scottie: Yo, a lot of niggas remember. They won't let me live --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] This probably triggered a few former roster players with this conversation. [laughs] But it was for the betterment of Black women so just know it's not in vain.
Scottie: [crosstalk] It's always me sacrificing. I've al --I said that. [laughter] I will always sacrifice myself for the betterment of Black women, and that's what I'm doing right now. Thank you so much.
Sylvia: We truly appreciate your service.
[crowd cheering] [Music In]
Sylvia: That's all for today, folks. Until next time. This is C.U.F.F. Sports. Sylvia Obell signing off. Hopefully you can find one -- [laughs]
Scottie: [singing] Da-na-na! Da-na-na!
[Music Out]
Scottie: All right, now is a time where we put y'all on to things we enjoy in hopes that you can enjoy it, too. Sylvia, what are you recommending for the people this week?
Sylvia: Well, as you guys know, I have just moved into my new apartment in L.A. and I'm busy furnishing it and just trying to get my little interior design on. And one of my favorite, probably my favorite furniture piece in this entire apartment is my new Joybird couch. And I just have to share with y'all because Joybird, it's literally the couch of my dreams. I have -- Scottie you know that like, couches like -- my couch is like headquarters, usually. And COVID it's killing me because like, I loved, wanted my couch to be the place where my friends gather, where I gather, like where I lay out and watch, you know, I relax. And like one of my biggest pet peeves in the past had been having couches that felt like everybody couldn't sit on at once or it just wasn't enough space or like it was just too narrow or whatever. Thankfully, I have friends who love the floor and rugs and stuff like that but. [laughs].
Scottie: [crosstalk] Shout out to me. Shout out to me, the friend who loves the floor.
Sylvia: Scottie was stay on the floor. She got so mad when I got a coffee table in my last apartment.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Oh my God.
Sylvia: I was like, I need this. [laughs] But I love comfy, cozy sectional couches.
Scottie: But we live in apartments, so I think the biggest struggle for me was always wanting a spacious couch, but not having enough room or feeling like I had enough room for like a super wrap around sectional. But what I love about Joybird in particular, is not only that they let you make the custom couches. Like you can kind of -- they have like their main styles. And I have what's called the Lewis sectional. But you get to pick, like, fabric, color and like what side the sectional is on, because really based on the orientation of your, like, living room.
Scottie: Wow.
Sylvia: And I love that -- and even like the color of the little leg pegs. So, like, it's very customizable because sometimes I'll see the perfect couch and I'm like, ah but I want a different color. Or I want a different fabric. Like blue has been my -- like my pop of color in my living room before. And I really wanted to keep having the blue couch. So I loved that I was able to get like it's plush velvet. It's called like the Royal Velvet like whatever blue, cobalt blue one is what I got. And I am so obsessed with it. But I also just love how it's only like nine inches long. But it's so -- the depth of it is what makes me feel like it's perfect for people who are in apartments. I mean, I think it's great for homes too, because they do have bigger ones. But like, I love that, like the depth of it is so wide because, like, I feel like people could actually fit like side by side, like front and back, like I could really pack probably like -- I'm over here like looking at the couch. I could probably pack like least six people on just a little L sectional. Like, so I really, I'm clearly truly obsessed with it. It comes with pillows. Like it comes with everything that you would want. And they, you know, they do like a door service where they bring it to you and put together in your house and take all the boxes when they leave.
Scottie: Oh my God.
Sylvia: Joybird is it y'all. It's it. Go check them out. That's my putting you on for today.
Scottie: That is amazing. What am I putting people on? First of all, I'm 30 now, which means, you know, I'm not playing when it comes to this health stuff. I bought about seventeen thousand supplements.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Oh my god. You would think this girl turned 50 years old yesterday. [laughs]
Scottie: You know, I started really looking into collage, you know, taking collagen supplements. Making sure my skin, you know, has the elasticity it's supposed to have.
Sylvia: Oh God.
Scottie: Also, I've been, you know, jawzersizing, making sure that I'm, you know, massaging and also exercising my face to make sure that the fine lines, the crow's feet does not come now. You know, we -- listen, we 30 now.
Sylvia: I know every Gen X and Boomer listener there is rolling their eyes at you.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I am ta --.
Sylvia: Like this little girl is just 30. She just turned 30, like for six days, she's said, eight days straight. And she's you over here talking about jaw exercises and collagen --.
Scottie: [crosstalk] I will take it.
Sylvia: And crow's feet. [laughs]
Scottie: Listen. Smoothie, you know, with some powder in it -- collagen powder.
Sylvia: 30 going on 55. [laughs]
Scottie: I'm not playing. I'm trying to make sure. But with doing that, I have discovered actually a few months ago, because I started putting this in motion. You know, I don't play with my face. Puttin this in motion. A few months ago, raw soap. I ordered it from Yadain Cultural Solutions. I think they have one in Philly and they have one in Harlem. And they don't have anything in here but like the actual ingredients. Like the ingredients are poppy seed, ground cinnamon, dried kale is in it, lemon oil.
Sylvia: Sounds like a smoothie.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: Smoothie, but make it a soap.
Scottie: And I'll take it. And I wash my face with it. It's a skin exfoliant bar. So that I love. Like it hasn't done -- and my sk --- my skin is very, very sensitive. So the fact that I haven't broken out yet is a blessing. You know, I really do enjoy it. I tried this first on my, on my body first before I tried my face. But really great product. Like I feel the tightness already. I feel like the wrinkles are a thing of the past.
Sylvia: [laughs] Y'all. I'm so through. Scottie swears she like on the next flight to the senior citizen home. [laughter] Like she gonna be looking for discount tickets at the movie theater. They gonna be like, ma'am, you're 30.
Scottie: Listen.
Sylvia: Your life still just started. It really still just getting started.
Scottie: [crosstalk] AARP hit me up! Please! I love a discount.
Sylvia: You like -- Our life is still, this is just the beginning still, in so many ways. But here she goes.
Scottie: Listen. I -- If you can see the amount of pills, amount of vitamins that I bought. Oh yeah. And I have my every day pill box. You know --.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] You got that -- you mean that pot -- it's like people's grandparents have? Where it's like Mon -- M, T -- .
Scottie: [crosstalk] Sure do. Would you like to see it Sylvia? Hold on.
Sylvia: [crosstalk] Like for people who forget which pills, which pills to take on which day? That little plastic container?
[shakes container] [laughter].
Sylvia: Little sound story. I'm dead.
Scottie: That was it. If you guys have anything to put us on, especially for my 30s, please let me know. Send me some links.
Sylvia: She means her 60s. [laughter] Reference things that people refer to people in their 60s, if you want, what she's looking for.
Scottie: [crosstalk] Send -- Send me some links to some muumuus. I love a muumuu. I have a few in my bathroom right now, but I would love to expand this.
Sylvia: Listen, that's my quarantine uniform, usually, bruh. I love a muumuu.
Scottie: I'm telling you! It's easy access too, just in case, that muumuu, you stay naked under the muumuu, you could do it any time, any place. Shout out to the muumuus.
Sylvia: Nasty. That way our parents for -- why mothers were always wearing muumuus for?
Scottie: [crosstalk] That's, that's probably why. Ain't nobody got time to be trying to slide the panties to the left. [laughs].
[Music In]
Sylvia: [laughs] No! No! Mo -- all right. That's our show. [laughter] Thank you all for tuning in. [laughs] That's gonna pull that chord out.
Scottie: I got a shortcut for you, baby, tonight! Now, our show's a production of Pineapple's Street Studios in partnership with Netflix and Strong Black Lead. Shout out to our team. Executive producers are Agerenesh Ashagre and Jasmyn Lawson. Our Lead Producer is Jess Jupiter. And our Associate Producer is Taylor Hosking. Our Music is by Amanda Jones. Special thanks to Max Linsky and Jenna Weiss-Berman.
Sylvia: Make sure you share your thoughts with us on the episode using the #OkayNowListen. We cannot wait to hear your feedback on cuffing season. I'm sure the timeline is going to be lit. Also, follow Strong Black Lead on the socials @Strong BlackLead and follow us too. I'm @Sylvia Obell.
Scottie: And I'm @Scottie Beam/Don't explain nothin' to these niggas.
Sylvia: Until next time folks, stay blessed. [laughs]
Scottie: Please stop explaining.
[Music Out]