On this episode, we check in with Sylvia about her trip to Hawaii and hear all about Scottie’s very Black Juneteenth. Then, we open the phone lines for the Hot Girl Hotline. We’ll be talking with some of the baddest players in the game—aka our friends—about their tips for taking on the streets this summer. We debate who fits into the hot girl category these days with Jasmyn Lawson, get tips for luring summer boos in with Taylor Rooks, and globetrotter Sio Massiah tells us how to be a hot girl on-the-go.
Okay, Now Listen Season 2 Episode 11 Transcript
[Music In]
Scottie Beam: You're listening to Okay, Now Listen, a biweekly show where we chat about what's on our minds, what we're bingeing and what's going up our timelines. I'm Scottie Beam, media personality, content creator, music enthusiast and a wing connoisseur.
Sylvia Obell: And I'm Sylvia Obell, culture writer, host, producer and lover Beyonce.
Scottie: And my girl Sylvia just got back from Hawaii, honey. With all the Dwayne Johnson's [laughter] and all the fine mens there. How was it?
[Music Out]
Sylvia: Oh, my goodness. Hawaii was so necessary. Like, I have not -- I had not taken a vacation trip since February 2019. And before that, only one other time in my twenties, I went to Montego Bay, Jamaica. Besides that, I've been working my ass off and just not enjoying the fruits of my labor at all. So when the world shut down on me, I was like the second I'm able and safely being able to do that -- in this case, it was getting the vaccine and whatever else -- I am not taking recreational travel for granted again.
Scottie: Ever, no.
Sylvia: Like I am going to invest in experiences as much as material things and not be like, oh no, I got to hold it for this or for that or for this. Like, life is too short. Take the trip, book the flight. You will make the money back. You know what I mean? Like this is what I'm telling myself. So I was so glad I did it and that, you know, for me I was baby stepping in to Hawaii where it wasn't like out of America because your girls' passport expired in the pandemic and I'm waiting for the new one, but --. [laughs]
Scottie: Oh shit. I gotta go get my passport. Yeah.
Sylvia: It's like -- And they're only doing mail-ins right now. So get it, get it going. But Hawaii was in the States, but it was like, you know, and I live in the -- I'm taking advantage of like all the places that are way too crazy expensive and far from the East Coast. But now I live in L.A., it's a much more like easier trip to go to Hawaii or to go to Mexico and places like that. So I am so glad I got a chance to go. I went with Jasmyn and we did that little hot girl trip. Like it was really last minute. I think we both were just so burned out and in need of just like a break. And a break with a view. Like I just want to lay by the pool and drink, lay on the beach and drink. Like that was, that was my -- and take cute photos in my bathing suits and just be naked in the sun. You know how much I miss the sun just beaming on my body?
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes, yes.
Sylvia: Just sprawled out? Just like -- like it's just I missed it and it just felt so good. The water in Hawaii is so freakin blue and clear. I cannot get past it.
Scottie: It's on my bucket list. It's on one of -- it's my bucket list of places to go. Like it's somewhere that I really, really would like to, like, stay for like a week or so because I want to experience all the things.
Sylvia: Yeah. Like, I really wish I could island hop. You know, we were on the islands of Waikikiiiiii. [laughter].
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Child, sis.
Sylvia: But no pussies was busted open in the making of this trip, to quote the Nicky line, but I -- Honolulu, like Waikiki, it's the main island and it gives very much South Beach. Like it gives very much Miami vibe. Like it's a party. It's a party city. Like I think like if you want like a more remote away, like calm situation, maybe go to like a Maui. But they are -- it is more expensive over there. Like they're not playing. But like I do think -- we also explored, which I enjoyed on Saturday, we rented a jeep and like explored the island. Like we drove to the other side of the island because I got advice of, like, Hawaii is beautiful and you should just drive through it at a certain point. So we drove all the way. Like -- it's like so rare that you can be on an island where you can just go from one side to the other and just see all of it.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Oh okay.
Sylvia: So like when you hit the open road and we saw the mountains and forest -- it was just it was beautiful, like it was just so beautiful. And it just like, I just feel sometimes so close to even God when I travel.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes. Yes.
Sylvia: And it's just like seeing his creation and like, this world is just so big and we've seen so little of it. Like just like every time I get to experience something new it's so beautiful to me. So I had so much fun doing that. I didn't really you know, it was definitely a kick off the Hot Girl Summer because it was first weekend -- summer started this past weekend and we were there for that. And I think for me, the kickoff was more so like, where that bikini, girl? Take that pic, girl. Post that pic, girl. You're grown. Do it. Have a good time. Like, don't be worried about why people are going to say or think or how are you going to come off. Just have fun and be free and enjoy yourself. And that was my hot girl challenge to myself this trip. And I think I delivered. You can go look at my Gram and tell me.
Scottie: I mean, it was there, honey. [laughter] It was there. I saw that shit. I said, I know that's the fuck right. Okay, I know. That's right. I loved it. Shout out to your photographer.
Sylvia: Yes. Yes, Jasmyn, we --.
Scottie: Jasmyn.
Sylvia: Let me tell you something. I took some fire photos of her but -- Well, some of them I took myself because let me tell you, Jasmyn brought the tripod. She wasn't fucking around. So.
Scottie: Okay? You have to bring the tripod
Sylvia: And we brought the selftimer and the tripod so we was hittin the cabanas, baby, that. That cabana photo was all me, chil'. I can take this -- So, like, it was good stuff. But I -- yeah, I think for me, you guys know, I can be pretty, you know, it's -- I can be pretty conservative sometimes. Or like just shedding the respectability politics of like what your feed or professionalism is supposed to look like this, this and that. And like we've done -- we've had that talk on his podcast a million times. So I was very excited to just, you know, shed that and like, this is the energy y'all getting all summer from me. And like the meme I posted it, if you see me out here in the streets this summer. Mind your business.
Scottie: Mind your business.
Sylvia: I deserve.
Scottie: Please.
Sylvia: Mind your business. I've done the work. I've gotten the accolades. I've gotten the degrees. I've gotten honors.
Scottie: Give it a fucking rest.
Sylvia: I've done -- I've gotten the jobs. I can have fun now [laughs]. And you don't even need to do that.
Scottie: About to say, it's insane that she even got to fucking say that in order to do some shit that you want to do. Just do it because you have to fucking do it.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Right. Just do it. Don't be like me and I think you have to get all those things to do it. Just do it.
Scottie: Yes. Cus child --.
Sylvia: Be better than me. [laughs]
Scottie: Right. And I'm glad that you said that about like, I felt like I had to be in New York City for every opportunity because I did not want to miss out. I would never travel. I would never go anywhere because I wanted to be here just in case I had to make some shit happen, just in case I get a cool opportunity. And I ended up just -- I'm not saying I wasted, you know, the twenties, but I definitely didn't travel as much as I wanted to in my twenties because I made it all about working. Like I worked so much.
Sylvia: Right. And we were broke for half of it. So like, it was a mix, you know, like I was you know --
Scottie: Yeah, I was broke and working for half of it. But then I had some money and I still didn't do nothing with it but --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] No, same.
Scottie: You know, bought food. And that's it.
Sylvia: No, like, oh, a nice apartment, clothes I like.
Scottie: On top of that, including the savers too, spend that motherfucking money, please, because I'm one of those.
Sylvia: I am too.
Scottie: Some of the money I haven't spent from 2016 because I -- I try to save it because I'm so scared I might need it. But here's the thing. Money is meant to be spent, okay.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] And life is too short.
Scottie: The things that you want to do, right. You will not regret it. I promise.
Sylvia: You can't take the money with you go when you go. So.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] God. And I tell myself that all the time. So I will be traveling more. Because what you just said, Sylvia, is something that it's something that speaks to my heart. I want to travel more. That is what I want my life to be like. I want to be able to see a lot of things in order to tell my child. I've seen a lot of things, you know, life
Sylvia: Experiences in the world.
Scottie: Right. Experienced the world. So I want to do that more.
Sylvia: Yes. So our thirties, we are, we are enjoying the fruits of our labor.
Scottie: Yes.
Sylvia: That is that is non-negotiable
Scottie: Absolutely because a bitch is a prisoner right now. I have never been nowhere. I'm a chicken head. I have never been anywhere.
Sylvia: [laughs] I will fight her. We're going to take a trip a year. I mean, we'll take more trips than that. But you and me.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Let's take a trip a year.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: With whoever else, we want to add to it. But and then, you know, we can take our family trips are bae trips, whatever else.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: I would like to commit to a trip a year, somewhere.
Scottie: It should be -- I mean, truly, it should be funded by Netflix. It should be a retreat. It should be a workers retreat.
Sylvia: We're going to start -- we're going to put a series.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: In which we go on a trip once a year and tape.
Scottie: It's a retreat. And we do like some fake ass conferences. And we'd be like, all right y'all, this is important. But yeah.
Sylvia: Live shows. International live shows coming soon. [laugheer] But Scottie, on your -- and thank you, also thank you for sharing that, because it is nice to know that I'm not alone in that because, you know, we got -- our friends be everywhere.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Out, yo.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] And I'm like, is it just me? I am I the only one afraid? [laughter]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yo, Sylvia, I feel like fucking prisoner. I be like, I -- it's just me here all the time.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Is it though?
Scottie: I'm never by no fucking water. Never you ain't never seen me by some water. God damn. You see me by a project building, though. You'll see me by -- you'll see me by a few park heads.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] We be in the park.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yeah. So.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Be a last lap. [laughter]
Scottie: Right. God.
Sylvia: Oh but also on your end how would like Juneteenth --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes, oh my god.
Sylvia: Was this past weekend. Any celebrations or thoughts about it becoming a national holiday? I thought you get a few hot takes off.
Scottie: I mean I said how I said it, I said what I said. I said why people shouldn't ever enjoy this fucking holiday. They should not ever be observing this holiday, anything. I don't want them to even learn about the holiday. Stay in your fucking place and mind your business. And that's it.
Sylvia: White people.
Scottie: White people, yes.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Black people, Black people --
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Black people, y'all know what to do. [laughter] So that's how I feel about it. I don't care what anybody says. I don't care what the white people say. Even the Black people who talk to me trying to, you know, rally for the whites, I don't give a fuck. Like truly. It's how I stand.
Sylvia: What about the people of color. Do they get to take Juneteenth off? Where do we fall on the other races?
Scottie: I don't care about the other races but my own race.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] that's the answer.
Scottie: So that's it?
Sylvia: That's right.
Scottie: As long as they're celebrating. Right. And doing, you know, learning about Juneteenth and observing it. Great. So that's what I did. I made us the priority, which I already do.
Sylvia: Every day.
Scottie: You know, I was outside with my people. You know, I went to a kickball tournament with just a bunch of niggas, a bunch of us. I love us. We had a good time. Also, I went to the layout, shout out to Michael and Cyrus and everybody who put together a fire ass Juneteenth layout at the park where you just basically -- in the beginning, it's meditating and you listen to some poetry and it's, it's the calm before the storm. The storm is when everybody come late, you know, C.P. time and --.
Sylvia: Turn up begins.
Scottie: And turn the motherfuckin' up. Right. And, you know, the DJ's come, shout out to Corey Townes.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Scottie: Kianna Parks.
Sylvia: Yes!
Scottie: Yeah. So it was, it was amazing. Shout out to all the Black people. I love y'all.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] [sings] All my niggas in the whole wide world --
Scottie: [Crosstalk] [sings] whole wide world. Yeah. [laughter] Shout out to all my niggas in the whole wide world. I love y'all for real. I love us for real. God bless.
Sylvia: Yes. Amen. Well, today we have a special treat for y'all. We've decided to open up a Hot Girl Summer Hotline. [phone] That's right. We're going old school radio style to hear how some of the baddest women in the game, AKA our friends, are getting their minds right for this year's Hot Girl Summer.
Scottie: Yes, after having one summer stripped away, we gotta make the most out of this one. You hear me? We are outside. That's why --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Outside!
Scottie: We're getting you guys all the tips and tricks from not just me, because I feel like sometimes you'll be like, oh, that's just Scottie being Scottie. No, no, no. [laughter] We getting the whole starting bench of the best players in the game. Okay?
[Music In]
Sylvia: All right?
Scottie: Talk that talk.
[Music Out]
Sylvia: Okay, so our first caller for today is the former executive producer of this podcast and my partner in crime in Hawaii this past week, Jasmyn Lawson! AKA Jasmyn Be Knowin'!
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Brrap brrap brrap!
Sylvia: Ahah-ha. Now I wanted Jasmyn to come on this podcast because she stays tweeting the funniest things about everything.
Scottie: Absolutely.
Sylvia: She is one of the funniest people I know. Let's get it on wax. And part of those tweets are -- there was a lot of good hot girl tweets content in there come leading up into the summer and the nuances about who is and isn't in this category. What does define a Hot Girl Summer? What doesn't? So we wanted to hash it out with her. Well, quick, before we got further into the hot girl conversation. [phone]
Scottie: Hi, Jasmyn.
Jasmyn Lawson: Hi! Oh, my God, I'm on Okay, Now Listen! [laughter] I'm so excited. It's so good to see y'all.
Sylvia: It's good to see you. Good to have you on air. Like it's so crazy because, like, obviously you helped create this podcast and now you're on it. [laughter] Wow. Wow.
Jasmyn: Yes.
Sylvia: But so let's get into it, because a while back, you tweeted a hot take.
Scottie: Mmm. Oooh.
Jasmyn: And I want to talk to you about it. You tweeted a hot take that Hot Girl Summer is only for the single girls. That it's not for these women out here talking about that they man's about to pick them up after. Or they about to have a Hot Girl Summer with a bae. Or like, oh Hot Girl Summer, my man took the photo. [laughter] All the captions that like -- the buts.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: All Hot Girl Summer but nothing was Jasmyn's energy with it. Please expand.
Jasmyn: Okay, so obviously Hot Girl Summer can mean anything to any woman. I don't want to police anybody's meaning around their Hot Girl Summer. But I would say from the first iteration before our hot girl coach Meg got to man, it just came off to me. That Hot Girl Summer was really being out here and being out here for me does include hooking up and hooking up with multiple people and having the time of your life. Now, obviously, that can be in a scale for a lot of people what that looks like. But to me, my feminism is very much rooted in sexual liberation and being able to, you know, have the type of sex, what you want, with who you want and on your terms and what more perfect time in the summertime. Like, obviously, hopefully you can be a hot girl all year round. That would be ideal. But it gets a little cold, people get into cuffing season. And y'all have had the cupping season episode. The summertime is really about freedom. And after the year that we have and now everyone's outside, you know, outside. Okay. Like it just feels like, why if you weren't already -- because some of our hosts were in relationships, why would you do that to yourself now? Like the out here. Be out here, enjoy it, enjoy freedom. You're outside. You're not inside. [laughter] Do it with everybody. Get a little taste.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Be free.
Jasmyn: So that's where I was coming from, where I just felt like, why have a-- because people were like -- I tweeted this and I was like, what does it mean to you? And people were like, oh, you know, going to brunch with my girls, getting a bunch of drinks. I was like, I do that every Saturday. [laughter] Like, that's to me. [laughs]
Scottie: See, but like, but like ev -- lot of people don't do shit like that. Like a lot of people don't travel or do shit, you know, unless it's the summertime. So they only see it as a summertime being hot girl season because that's when you're able to do shit outside. Usually, you know, niggas is working during the winter, you know, got shit it's going on.
Jasmyn: Yeah.
Scottie: It's holiday seasons and shit. They ain't no holidays like that on the weekend -- I mean on in the summer. You just outside. So.
Jasmyn: Yes.
Scottie: Because I like to see myself as still free. I'm still free outside.
Jasmyn: Yes.
Scottie: I just can't be taken on no niggas home. You know, I can't, I can't be taking no niggas --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Right.
Sylvia: You're just -- you're just not as free as the rest -- single girls are.
Scottie: Well I mean -- ah --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes
Scottie: I guess --
Sylvia: Which is true! It's okay -- I think it's okay. I think it's okay that, you know --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: We had different degrees of freedom. Because it's like, it all comes with pros and cons. Right. Like I think we often focus on -- this is what I liked about how girl summer. And it's the initial lens on singleness is because I did feel like the Internet conversation was always about the -- all the good stuff and fun something to be all relationships, relationship goals, da da da da. Find a man, be with a man, be in love. And it was so cool to see something that was opposite that.
Jasmyn: Yeah.
Sylvia: Where it was like single girls, you ain't found your man yet. This one's for you! [laughs]
Scottie: Oh, see, y'all wanted something for y'allselves.
Sylvia: Exactly. Exactly.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] And I think, exactly. Yeah. We can't have--.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] We can't have nothing!
Jasmyn: It's just like being Black! Like, damn what can we have?
Scottie: But like -- [laughter].
Sylvia: It was like everybody was like brown skinned girls, me too! It was like damn!
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Oh!
Scottie: [Crosstalk] You wasn't, you wasn't. Yeah, you wasn't in there. [laughter]
Jasmyn: And it's like, and I feel like if you have access to this and I'm speaking specifically or whatever you. If you have access to sex whenever you want it, like, damn, you are lucky.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Wait, wait, wait. Time out.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] And good sex? And you are getting it when you want it?
Scottie: You've got access to sex whenever you want it as well, sis. Like that that works on both ends too.
Sylvia: That's not necessarily true.
Scottie: You have access to stuff but you don't have --.
Jasmyn: In your house?
Scottie: You don't call him your nigga.
Jasmyn: In your apartment all day? [laughter]
Scottie: I mean, I hear that.
Sylvia: Niggas be busy. You thinking but he might be at work. He might like, you know-- but men got no reason, the like duty to come over. [laughs]
Scottie: Right. But you still got access to hit a nigga.
Jasmyn: Having to schedule the appointments is a whole conundrum these days.
Sylvia: But then also not every single girl -- and that's part of it, that's why we're having this conversation. And we'll talk about that later. Like actually getting, you know, reeling men in and getting players, you -- as you're single. But for some people who are very, very single, I've definitely had times in my life where there was nobody I could call or text for anything because I was that single. You know what I mean? So, like, in those moments --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Same.
Sylvia: Like we have our cons. That's what we're saying.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Same, same, same. [laughter]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] We got our cons too!
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] I can relate.
Scottie: I still deserve to be a motherfuckin hot girl.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Y'all do!
Scottie: That's how I got the nigga in the first fucking place.
Jasmyn: Yes! That's what I'm saying. We're not policing the title. I just felt like it was something that we could have.
Sylvia: I guess not. [laughs]
Scottie: No. You gotta share.
Jasmyn: Shit.
Scottie: Cus I was one, it don't go away. It's not something that I can terminate. So it's something that's going to be there.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Scottie: I just have to fix it up a little bit. I can't be doing this shit that I used to do like that. You know what I'm saying? You know, so.
Sylvia: yeah, y'all can make it y'all own, y'all can still be hot, y'all can still have fun.
Jasmyn: For sure. For sure. I mean, I feel the same way if anybody got me out the streets, I'm -- he gonna have to know, first and foremost, I'm a hot girl. So.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Right.
Jasmyn: You gonna have to keep up. You gonna have to keep up.
Scottie: And it looks different. It really does look different. Even the single women and men, boys too, don't want to exclude y'all. But, you know, it looks different to everybody. You know, I know you are pretty clear about, you know, you say that you don't have to be sleeping with everyone on your roster. Because niggas think once you have a roster, you supposed to sleep with each and every one of them. No child. Please don't do that. God. So what does a solid hot girl roster mean to you?
Jasmyn: Hmm? I mean, in an ideal world, it would be, you know, having some consistency there in terms of, okay, it's the summertime, I'm out here. If I have one or two players on the team that I know that will follow through and get in the game -- if we're using the metaphor.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yeah.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] That's, that's --.
Jasmyn: That would be great! Obviously, you know, a few unplanned events are always fun. You know, sometimes you might just be outside at the park or, you know, the beach or whatever with the homies. And it's like, oh, this random person right here, we kicked it off. And that's a doin-a- doop doop doop. That's always accounted for. That's always accounted for. But I think having a steady rotation and just enjoying the moment of the summer. I think for me also growing up and maybe some of y'a'll from the East Coast, a place that has four seasons, where like the summer was something to look forward to because that was the perfect weather.
Sylvia: Right.
Scottie: Right.
Jasmyn: You're not in school or it's whatever, it's always just been an ideal time to have -- to form memories and be like, ah, the summer. It's like a goal. So I think having something to kind of bookend from whatever June to September of either fleeting romances or cute little hookups, that would be ideal. That will be what it would look like for me.
Sylvia: Yes. But it's very much, I love that you're very -- I do think that and I love that we can talk about the the very casual part of it, like just the fun, carefree.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: And like just being that way and like meeting people, maybe sleeping with them, maybe not, but just it being your prerogative that like --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Whatever you're comfortable with.
Sylvia: It's okay, and like enjoying the synchroness of your life, like enjoying that time in your life when you are that way.
Jasmyn: I mean, maybe it's just a make out like, oh, we were at the beach and we were, you know, by the bonfire making out. That's hot, that's hot!
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I'm about a bonfire. [laughs]
Scottie: Let me tell you something about heavy petting --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Listen.
Scottie: And like just a good deep tongue kiss that will do enough for me, Chil'.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Okay!
Scottie: [Crosstalk] I like making out.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I love making out.
Jasmyn: Did Sylvia tell you that -- so we have a hot girl bucket list.
Sylvia: Jasmyn was so not playing about Hot Girl Summer that she shared me on a notes -- I didn't even know you could share notes with people.
Scottie: Yes, you can.
Jasmyn: I figured it out.
Sylvia: She shared me on a notes that I got a note alert it said, Hot Girl Summer bucket list. I saw my name up with open boxes and she was I start filling it out, bitch. Start filling it out.
Scottie: So what's on, what's on y'all bucket list?
Sylvia: Ah! [laughter] No -- Well, one of the things I could share was that, like I said -- because, you know, I've been very anti dating apps most of my life. One of the things I said -- because I was like, you know what, I am in a new city and we're talking about having people -- to your point about having people who you could text and call or whatever. I'm coming fresh, clean slate, nobody. So I was like, oh, let me be on a dating app and actually stay on it for the summer. So one of my challenges, like I'm going to get on a Hinge and stay on it. Because usually what I do with I'll get on do a couple of swips, chat people up. Nobody really executes anything and I get bored and I get off of it. Like I never, like, actually stay on. So I said I'm going to force myself to stay on until Labor Day weekend.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: And I'm going to just actively try to do that. And not for nothing. It's been working out for me. So I'm glad that -- I was glad I put that on the Hot Girl Summer list because I know the roster is building out, so that's great.
Scottie: Okay. Very --
Sylvia: Jasmyn, do you want to share anything on yours?
Jasmyn: So the things that I feel confident in sharing [laughter]. Wink, wink. Well, one thing I really wanted was to wear bikinis all summer. I'm like, I'm wearing the two piece. Like body out. You're going to fit whatever, thighs, belly, like this is me. Like, I'm out here and you goin' see it. So that was just --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I think that's great.
Jasmyn: And whatever whether I had the ideal body that I wanted by -- after this year it's like who does?
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Exactly.
Jasmyn: But like by a certain date, I'm wearing the cut -- the outfit that I want to wear and what I bought. So that was on there. And then I do have I do want to hook up with someone from my childhood. I just want to have an experience where either a guy I liked in high school or someone from back home, like it happens. Like I'm --
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Like pull in an old crush.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] I should -- but what if is disappointing? From someone who did it already so you don't have to go through it. [laughter] Listen.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Oh!
Sylvia: But maybe people, maybe people want to just try. Like, oh, I want to fulfill that old high school crush thing.
Scottie: Don't, don't.
Jasmyn: Yes!! I will say that literally recently the guy that I had a crush on in ninth grade has been liking my little pictures on Instagram.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Ooooh!
Jasmyn: And I'm like, I'm zoned in. I'm like -- this was all to me, my 15 year old self. So that's on my bucket list.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] You're reclaiming your time.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: You're doing this for teenage Jasmyn, but she was too afraid.
Jasmyn: Okay.
Sylvia: But coming back as a grown woman to take what was hers.
Jasmyn: I was too scared.
Sylvia: I like the exercise of it.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: And I mean, that speaks to one of mine, which is like another one of mine. And am I supposed to write it down, but shooting my shot more. Y'all know I'm very -- I don't like to make the first move.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: I've never been the girl to make the first move. I am going to attempt to try to make the first move a couple of times this summer.
Scottie: That's like music --
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Oooh. I can't wait to be there --.
Scottie: To my ears. [laughter] Oh, my God. Yes.
Sylvia: Yes. So, Jasmyn, before we let you go.
Jasmyn: Yes.
Sylvia: We're going to be asking everybody if you had to pick the top Hot Girl Summer tip to give to our listeners, like, whether it's a mind set or like a strategy or anything. What is the Hot Girl Summer tip you want to give the listeners?
Jasmyn: I would just say don't overthink everything, don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Like just go out to your comfortability. Like all of the pandemic covid stuff aside, like to your -- however comfortable you are. And just take a chance. Just take an opportunity. It also it kind of feels like Vegas. Like what happens in Hot Girl Summer stays in Hot Girl Summer --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Stay in Hot Girl Summer.
Jasmyn: So just let it happen. Some of the bodies might not need to count. Like just keep it goin.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Never existed.
Jasmyn: When we get back to September, then we'll circle back. So.
Sylvia: Erase it. Like it never happened. Men in Black like -- [laughs]
Scottie: right.
Jasmyn: Okay. It doesn't, it don't count. Just go have fun.
Sylvia: Jasmyn said, if I hooked up with you this summer, it didn't count. If somebody says that they was with me this summer, they weren't --
Scottie: [Crosstalk] It's -- it never happened.
Jasmyn: Okay.
Sylvia: That's the answer.
Scottie: Never happened, sorry.
Sylvia: It never happened. I don't know what you're talking about.
Jasmyn: I wasn't on your hit list. I wasn't on --.
Scottie: Y'all niggas talk too much as it is too. So absolutely not. You don't know me. [laughter] Thank you, --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Think you're cute --.
Scottie: Thank you Jasymn --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Thank y'all!
Scottie: For coming and sharing your amazing, amazing advice because the world needs it. You know, I love you as a hot girl.
Jasmyn: Oh my gosh.
Scottie: And hot girl to hot girl --.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] Thank you.
Scottie: Cus I'm still a hot girl, okay?
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] You are.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Yes, yes.
Scottie: First of all, like, it's not about these niggas. The women are the fucking prize. I'm the motherfucking prize.
Sylvia: We censoring ourselves.
Scottie: Okay? You the prize.
Jasmyn: [Crosstalk] We are.
Scottie: I center myself in Hot Girlness and so do you. So where can I find you or where can the niggas find you if they want to DM you.
Jasmyn: Oh! Ooh! [laughter] Where can niggas find me? Um? If they want to DM me, definitely DM on Instagram. What's my Instagram? @JasmynBeGrammin. There we go. And then I guess, follow me on Twitter for my sense of humor, @JasmynBeKnowing. So there.
Scottie: And her truth. That's her honesty too, by the way.
Sylvia: It is her honesty and Jasmyn is spelled?
Jasmyn: With a Y. J-A-S-M-Y-N.
Sylvia: There you go.
Jasmyn: All right. Thank y'all.
[Music In]
Sylvia: All right, so the next caller on the hot girl hot line is our girl, the one and only Taylor Rooks. [phone] Now, we had to have Taylor on because I feel like she's an expert at luring men in. And I want to hear more about these seduction tips. I mean, obviously, if you know Taylor, which most of y'all do, she's fine, right? So that's that.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Fine as hell.
Sylvia: Like so looking like Taylor might be number one. We can't, we can't help everybody there. But [laughs] -- but number two, there is a quality about it where I know a lot of beautiful women who just, you know, were missing that that je ne sais quoi. [laughs] That little somethin', you know.
Taylor Rooks: Wow. I didn't know, I didn't know. I had a Ph.D. in luring but --
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Oh please! Syl -- oh my gosh.
Sylvia: You're here when your real friends. Don't lie. [laughs]
Scottie: Before we get into tips and tricks, okay, I just want to ask, where's your mind at this summer?
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Scottie: You know, are you feeling ready to take on these streets? Are you taking on the streets?
Taylor: My mind is very at peace. You know, I'm livin', I'm in love. I'm feeling good. But I definitely still know the vibes. [laughter] I still know myself. I can still, I can offer some tips and tricks for sure, what's worked for me, what hasn't worked for me. That list is shorter than than the former. I'm just kidding. [laughter].
Sylvia: Oh-hoo! That's the energy. That's the energy though.
Taylor: I'm playin, I'm playin, But no, I -- summer, summer is fun. It should be whatever you want it to be if you want to be hot girl in the streets, hot girl at home
Scottie: You could hot girl and the streets are hot girl in the sheets. It doesn't matter either way. I know Taylor's a hot girl.
Sylvia: Right, either you Hot Girlin' out here these streets havin' fun or you Hot Girl -- maybe a man picking you up after. It's all it's all a hot girl situation. So you're an expert at like -- and I want to be specific because even, you've done it with us. Like I remember one time we were at a function and you were, like there was a guy I thought was cute. And you were like, okay, Sylvia. We're walking up to him. Here's what we're gonna do.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: Very wing woman energy, right. So that's what we're looking for kind of here where it's like--.
Taylor: Yeah.
Sylvia: Walk us through some tips about like, say you were at the day party or at the park or at the bar and the guy you have been crushin on or who has been DMing you fire emojis on every story on your IG story. [laughter] Is there -- how do you -- what do you -- what should the girls do?
Taylor: Well, so my main thing -- and this is in life in general, but really in situations like this, I'm a big believer in shooting your shot. Like, I actually think that women should shoot their shot a little more than they do.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Yeaaah. Yeah.
Taylor: You know, I think that sometimes when women shoot their shot, you're -- there's almost a better chance of it lasting because you're doing the thing that you're attracted to, if that makes sense. So, like, I think that if there is a person you want to seize that opportunity, that's what you should do. I think sometimes we wait too long and maybe that person doesn't even know on the times that we're interested. So I think you should always go for the thing that you want. Every relationship that I have had besides my high school boyfriend started in the DMs. Like I'm a big like, check your DMs. If you, if you about it, shoot your shot back, engage. And what Sylvia is talking about, I know Sylvia was very interested in a particular person. I'm like well, how do you -- like I mean, like, how do you expect this to happen if you don't let it be known? So I think you should always let your feelings be known. Whether it's a wink, a smile, a going up, you've got to do something. I don't -- you can't just, like, wait for it to come to you. So.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Right.
Taylor: Get out there.
Scottie: So but how do you get over the fear of putting yourself out there? Because, yeah, I would want to. Like yeah, I'm sure there's tons of women that would want to, but that fear of rejection is loud. You know, a lot of my good sisses out there.
Sylvia: Including me. I am that sis. [laughs]
Scottie: Yeah. It's me, too.
Taylor: Yeah. And I am in no way trying to downplay rejection. Right. Like people -- I hate, you know, feeling rejected. Everybody -- no one wants to hear. No, that's the worst possible thing you could hear. But one thing I always say to myself is like, well, the only thing worse than rejection is not doing it at all. Like, how much does it suck when you are thinking about, well, what if he didn't reject me? You know what I mean? And honestly, if someone rejects you, it's okay. Then you move on to the next. There's so many men out here. If someone says no, who cares? Like that person wasn't for you anyway.
Scottie: Also, who's going to know.
Taylor: You know what? Like think about all the men you've rejected. They fine. They're okay.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] They're Okay. That's right.
Taylor: It don't matter if somebody says no, you're still you. You still going to move on to the next one.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: So do you have like a -- when you talk about shooting your shot and how women should do that more often, do you have like a story about like a time where you like -- well, not like specifically naming names, but like a way that you shot your shot specifically that, like, has worked for you?
Taylor: Yeah, I mean, I feel like I have like a bunch that I can think of. One thing I always think is so easy, if you see someone at a bar that, like being is cute or whatever, if you go up near them, just say, like, what are you drinking? That always starts a conversation. It's so simple.
Scottie: And then what do you say after that? If they say, okay, I'm drinking a Bloody Mary. Then what? You supposed to buy it?
Taylor: I say, I say, ooh, I do tequila. Keeps them talking.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Oh okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Sylvia: Ooh, I do tequila.
Taylor: It's such an easy conversation starter.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] that's a good one.
Taylor: You can tell a lot about a person by their drink I feel like. So I always sit at the bar, there's a guy, it's like, oh what are you drinking? They tell me we start talking, then they say, let me get you a tequila. Then we're doing them together. It's a very --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I like it.
Taylor: There are steps to it. All things should be very organic. I'm telling you ladies, when you go to the bar, are you ask a man, what, you drinkin? And then I check in ten years, y'all got two kids. [laughter] I want an invite to the wedding. I want a personal thank you on social media because I'm telling you like this works. It has never failed me. You know, when I was still in a game it never failed me. So do that.
Sylvia: Yes, if it works for you, please, @TaylorRooks and let her know her strategy is successful.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Please, please do.
Scottie: I think we're skipping over to some of the things that you've pointed out too, the eye contact.
Taylor: Yes.
Scottie: There's a gift. Like you have to actually learn how to do the eye contact. That's the only thing I know how to do, child.
Taylor: Mmm. Oh, I know you can do some eye contact.
Sylvia: You to are queens of it. When I saw y'all, I have never met two bitches who are better at making eye contact across the room than Taylor and Scottie.
Scottie: But there is a sultry eye that you know --.
Taylor: 100 percent.
Scottie: Yeah. That you'll -- you have to give in a certain amount of seconds. Like sometimes I count, like I count probably like three seconds. I'll give it.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Scottie: Three seconds of looking and then look down.
Taylor: Look away. But look back.
Scottie: Right.
Taylor: See, I think the key to the eye contact is the returning to the eye contact.
Sylvia: Ooh!
Taylor: More than it is even the initial eye contact. You know what I mean --
Scottie: I think it's the smile too, the smile cus I need you to know that I'm looking and I like what I see and I'm smiling because I like what I see.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Oh yes! And don't let me have a drink in my hand.
Scottie: Right!
Sylvia: You play with the straw? You play with the straw?
Taylor: We can -- hey, we can step up the eye contact if need be.
Scottie: Right.
Taylor: If it calls for it. But yes, I agree. I agree. Everything she -- see, Scottie knows. She knows the eye contact bible for sure. [laughs]
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: These are like peak Hot Girl Summer coaches. Y'all are gettin premium content. Y'all should be paying for this. [laughs]
Taylor: I think there's even, there's even a walk. There's a walk.
Scottie: Hmm. Tell me more about the walk.
Taylor: When there is somebody in the vicinity that you -- like you're interested in, there is a way you glide across the room, the way you pass them. Like there is, there's very little things that all add up to to a W for you by the end.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: But let me tell you, I am afraid of -- and I think because it's -- eye contact is a powerful thing and it takes confidence because I've found, especially in my early twenties, if I make eye contact with somebody and I think -- I like look away, like I get nerv -- like I punk out of the eye contact. And I'm like, huh! That was too much. It's too intense. I can't -- like I just feel like --.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] No!
Sylvia: I just feel it and I punk and turn away.
Scottie: I mean you can give bashful queen with that. Like you can give like, oh my God. Like --.
Taylor: Oh not me. Right. [laughter]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Got caught. I know it's all -- it's all in the game.
Sylvia: Okay, I will take that --
Taylor: I will say though Sylvia, if you're looking at someone and you're feeling nervous it's because like they're looking at you too.
Sylvia: Right.
Taylor: So like you got to you got to hold on to that. You gotta capitalize.
Sylvia: I gotta lean it.
Taylor: everything is about capitalizing on the moment.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Cus my punk ass be running away. My punk ass be like, ah!
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Uh huh.
Sylvia: And that's why I'm single. No. [laughs].
Taylor: [Crosstalk] No, no.
Scottie: But yeah. Practice guys, practice that I, you know, with the video. Even videotape yourself, giving yourself a little side eye or you know, doing certain things like that. Just say to okay, do I look crazy? Because some people think that given the eye and then they just be giving shocked and that's all. [laughter].
Taylor: Yeah. No --
Scottie: They be givin startled.
Sylvia: Startled. [laughter]
Scottie: Like, I don't -- so you got to know that that's not, that's not, that's not the look that you givin.
Taylor: Yeah. I would say and I truly, deeply mean this, like I think that it's really important for all women to just like, sit for a minute and ask what makes me sexy?
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Oooh.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Mhmm.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Like what to you makes you sexy. And I guarantee when you like, figure out what that is for you, you will, like, exude it all the time. Especially in a moment like this where you're trying to, you know, step it up a little bit. Like I think sex is really is something that begins individually and personally and very introspectively. It could be something so small or something so big, but like that's your thing and that is what's going to ultimately, you know, be the win for you. So you should just, like, always sit before you go out and really just in general, like, what is it about me that is so appealing to myself and then in turn to others? And I think everything just kind of -- yeah, everything really does come from that.
Sylvia: That's deep. That's -- I love that. Because it's like, yeah, you should amplify it, but you don't know until you know what it is.
Scottie: Exactly.
Taylor: Right.
Sylvia: And then, and then somebody like me might be like, I don't know guys, what is sexy about me? What is the most -- what is the most one? But I also like the fact that you're saying, like, you need to figure it out.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yeah.
Sylvia: You need to like -- it needs to be like a conversation with yourself.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Right.
Sylvia: Okay, how do I amplify that? So love that.
Scottie: Cus you want to feel most confident when you're going to get whatever dude you want to get. You want to feel confident. You don't want to go by, well, people say, I have this, so I'm going to use this. No, you should feel like, oh, I have this. I got big ass eyes. I'm going to use the big ass eyes because my eyes make me feel sexy. So.
Taylor: Yeah.
Scottie: Yeah. That's how we go about it. We want you to always be comfortable.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Right.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: And and feel good in your own skin before you go ahead and get on somebody else's skin, chil’.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Ohh! [laughter]
Scottie: So yeah. Taylor, before you go, what's the biggest Hot Girl Summer tip that you will ever, I guess, give the public -- not yourself, but the public.
Taylor: The biggest hot girl tip. To me, the biggest hot girl tip is be smart.
Scottie: Mmm!
Sylvia: Oooh.
Taylor: Like one hundred percent, the biggest hot girl tip, one, you want to be smart with your feelings, know what you're getting into. Don't come in here saying you're trying to be a hot girl. Be really trying to be with the ring. You gotta like -- sometimes there's difference.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Go ahead and speak Taylor.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Like what is it --
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Go ahead and speak to them, please. [laughter]
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yeah! Yeah, you gotta -- let's talk about, you know, what the intentions are, what we want from this. Yes, you got to manage all of that. You got to be smart with your heart, number one. It's it's all, you know, it's fun and games to be on Twitter and talk about how you hot girl. But then you like wait, I really like him. And that's not what you all signed up for. [laughter] You know? Also, just be smart with your surroundings. I mean, you going to be out. The world is crazy. You never really know when people are, what people are up to. You gotta you got to watch men a lot of the times. Go out with you girls. Go out in groups. Don't be trying to be a hot girl all alone. You know, so --.
Sylvia: Solo missions. [laughs]
Taylor: Yes. I say be smart. And then when you when you're shooting them shots and you're out there trying to lure, be intentional too. So that's probably, that's that's my number one tip. Be smart. Be smart with your fit. You know, be smart with how you decide to do your make-up.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Use your head.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] I always say there is, there is a way to dress to get what you want. I will say that for the rest of my life. So be be smart about that in all areas. Just be smart. [laughter]
Scottie: Thank you, Taylor.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Ooh, yes.
Scottie: Thank you so fucking much, because I've been saying this.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Scottie: You know, not necessarily with Sylvia, cus Sylvia's smart. But it's just sometimes I want to make sure that people know you have to put that brain first before the heart, guys --.
Taylor: Yes.
Scottie: When you want to be a hot girl. You don't have to be! And also don't feel like you have to be the hot girl that everybody says you have to be.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Right.
Scottie: You know what I'm saying, what Twitter says you have to be. Define it for yourself. You know, be a hot girl and cry at night. That's fine. [laughter] But make sure that you define it for yourself first before you think you could be out here being just friends and, you know, doing -- with benefits and then figure out that you can't be the friend. You know?
Taylor: I will also say, be a hot girl and be in love. I'm telling you like that is --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] I mean that's how it is out here --
Taylor: That is a very underrated Hot Girlness that is happening. You know, like I love, you know, what it's like to be, you know, exploring and single and learning yourself and just like seeing the world. Like you know, all of that is very important. But I do really believe there is -- there's no better feeling than really like being in love and sharing that with someone else. And being in love, that's different for different people. You know, I'm not saying to jump in a relationship --
Scottie: Absolutely.
Taylor: Whatever and be happy. That's, that's not at all what I'm saying. But like there's really something special about knowing that it's you and someone else forever. You know, regardless of the fun, regardless of all that stuff, like, you know, what's yours. So there's hot girl in that, too. There's -
Scottie: Yeah, y'all could do hot girl shit together.
Taylor: Yeah. There's something fun about retirement.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Not retirement! [laughs]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] I mean, absolutely. Listen, you know, the fact that -- you know, the thing that scared me the most about being in a relationship is that I thought I would have to not be a hot girl ever again. And until I realized that I could define it for myself and maybe alter some things and be like, you know, well, this can't work for me anymore because I love this person, also because I don't -- I'm tired of doing this.
Taylor: Yeah.
Scottie: I want to try something different. I still do hot girl shit and my man be right there. Or my man, you know, pick me up from outside the club. Right.
Taylor: Meg got her man picking her up piggyback onto a private jet. That's hot girl.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Hot girl shit.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Hot girl shit. [laughs]
Taylor: Hey. Yo man catering to you, that's hot girl. Like I don't care what nobody says.
Scottie: And how you got them was hot girl shit. You think that goes away overnight? Absolutely not.
Taylor: [Crosstalk] Nope. Hey, it is like riding a bike. I could pull forever.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I can pull forever!!!!
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Don't, don't --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Forget you, forget that.
Scottie: Clearly. Clear them out Taylor.
Sylvia: Know her! Know her. [laughs]
Scottie: Clear them out Taylor.
Sylvia: Taylor said, I'm that girl, okay?
Scottie: I still pull. Don't ever forget.
Sylvia: I'm missing hanging with y'all.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] My baby.
Sylvia: But it was so great to have this moment. Taylor, thank you for calling in.
Taylor: Of course!
Sylvia: We want to let the people know where they can find you, what you have going on that you want to plug.
Taylor: Yeah, no, everything I have going on is on my, on my social media handles, which are very easy. It's just @TaylorRooks on everything. I have my interview show, I have the NBA twitter live show. So, you know, and my Hawks right now in Eastern Conference finals so very occupied with that. [laughter] But uh --
Sylvia: Had to get a little sports take in.
Taylor: You know yeah. That, that's, that's where I'm at. But no, thank you guys so much for having me. I miss y'all.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] I love you so much.
Taylor: You know, the world, the world opening up. We got to do a-- we'll do a hot girl, hot girl dinner, hot girl brunch. Something like that.
Sylvia: Yes.
Scottie: Yes. My baby.
Sylvia: Okay.
Scottie: Okay, I love you so.
Sylvia: Love you.
Taylor: Bye y'all. Thanks for having me. Love y'all.
[Music In]
Scottie: Oh, I miss her little face! [laughter].
[Music Out]
Scottie: Okay. Our last caller of the day is my girl, Sio Massiah. She travels and she knows the streets like no motherfucking other, you hear me? She throws events for Twitter and she leads creative strategies around the world, honey. Yes, the world. Not national. No child. Not the country. The world. Okay? So we wanted to ask her about being a Hot Girl on the go cus my girl would be on the go. But she also knows how to tap into that Hot Girlness everywhere she goes. I aspire. Okay, welcome, Sio. [applause] Welcome, my good sis.
Sylvia: Yes.
Sio Massiah: I'm very scared to be here, but also very happy. [laughter] Cus I don't know where this is about to go.
Scottie: Oh no. It's going to go everywhere. Just like you.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Everywhere like you.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Like you, right? [laughter]
Sylvia: We are aligned. We are in sync.
Sio: Wow.
Scottie: We're here.
Sio: Look at the -- look at the segue. I love a good transition.
Scottie: Hello.
Sylvia: Well Sio, yes. Thank you for calling them. First things first, how are you feeling about this year's summer hotting season? Are you traveling yet?
Sio: Yeah, actually, I been traveling. I went to Jamaica in April. And then I went to Mexico in May. I'm chilling now. I have been here for about three weeks but I'm going to Martha's Vineyard and like to Atlanta maybe a few times because, you know, Atlanta, hot spot.
Sylvia: No Hot Girl Summer is complete without a couple Atlanta trips. You're correct.
Sio: Yeah.
Sylvia: [laughs] So where is your -- I want to step back because I want to know what feeling about the stallion season, right? Like we know, like we were just talking with Taylor and Scottie about being a love, in a relationship, but now that my other single hot girl is here, I would like to know what is your mind frame open with this Hot Girl Summer is about to be for you in your perspective?
Sio: Well, the joke is I was dating somebody and I just broke up with them. We just stopped dating. So --.
Sylvia: It's lit -- [laughs]
Sio: Yeah, I'm really trying to find the words for it, but yes. But also, I have to remember my age because I was definitely outside this weekend and then I came back inside with a sinus infection. So it's like we gotta -- [laughter].
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Safety.
Sio: I have to figure out what's the level for a 36 year old Hot Girl? But we outside. I'm definitely dating on the trips, whatever city I'm at, I'm outside.
Scottie: Right. Okay, so when you're always on the move, how do you wrap your head around Hot Girl Summer? Like do you have boos in different cities around the world? Like --.
Sylvia: Little tings. Little sneak-a-links
Sio: So yeah. So I do have gentlemen friends in other cities. So when I do go to those cities, I let them know. So we can catch up, you know, get a drink, see what's going on, spent some time together.
Scottie: Right.
Sio: Things like that.
Scottie: And Sio, how do you -- cus you know, since they're in different cities, how do you emotionally cut off? It's a healthy way that you do it.
Sio: Yes. Cus the thing is, though, like, I can't even fake talking to somebody that I don't actually like. Like, we got to be basic basic friendships.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Right.
Sio: If I don't enjoy speaking to you, I'm not going speak to you. Like it doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what I see for you. So like people who'll be trying to play that, like I don't give a fuck about him, I'm just trying to play him for his money. That's how y'all get caught up.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sio: I genuinely enjoy the people that I hang out with because I'm not going to spend my summer or my time with niggas I don't like. So even in the most basic of ways. So I genuinely like fuck with the people that I talk to in other cities, no matter where they're at. So if I cut them off, I'm not doing it to be a dickhead or asshole. I'm doing it because I genuinely care about them and I want to let them know, like yo, I'm not trying to waste your time. Like we knew what it was but if you're getting a little bit closer than I actually want to, like, I genuinely still want to be your friend. But you're not going to be my man. It's not going happen. I'm not moving to where ever you at any time soon. So.
Sylvia: Yeah, because, like, how about -- managing those expectations has to be a thing. I think there's a lot of hot girls out there wondering, like, they talk a lot about us catching feelings, right. And us getting to attached. But it's both ways.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Absolutely.
Sylvia: Men do the same thing.
Sio: Absolutely.
Sylvia: And there's much they don't tweet about it or post memes like women do. They do and feel the same stuff.
Scottie: Absolutely.
Sylvia: And so the question is really, I always find like, how do you not come out the bad guy tryin to leave when you're out here [laughs] hoppin' all over.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Shut up. [laughter]
Sio: So I'ma tell y'all right now, I'm one of the realest niggas holding my breath. So I tell y'all the truth. [laughter]
Scottie: Hello.
Sio: Okay?
Scottie: Speak that shit, speak that shit, Sio.
Sio: Because the thing is men are emotional. They be lyin. Ooh, chil', they lie. Most of them is probably in my phone. But like I'm the type person like, yo I'm out of my friends. They're like, FaceTime me. Why am I FaceTiming you when I'm out with my friends?
Scottie: Talk to these niggas! Talk!
Sio: Why would I -- why am I doing that? I to talk to you later. I'm out with my friends. And then they be like, oh your friends are more important to me? Yes at this point.
Scottie: Yes. They are!
Sio: You just got here. What? Why would they not be.
Sylvia: Right.
Sio: So it's those things. But I also, I try to do it as clear as possible. But after a while, you got to elevate. Like you gotta start off nice. But then if they start don't getting it, you got to ease up, get higher, like start getting a little bit more -- I don't want to say aggressive, but assertive, like --.
Sylvia: Assertive.
Sio: You've got to relax.
Scottie: Right.
Sylvia: Relax.
Scottie: Create those boundaries.
Sio: Exactly. And if you realize the guy's just getting too emotional? I just tell him I'm like, look, we're not in the same place. I really think you're a great person. I really hope that we can still stay friends because I just don't see that for us. And most men, they're going to take it. They goin' still think that they got to in later. And that's not their fault, not mine. [laughter] But they not going to go nowhere. You just, you told them the truth.
Sylvia: That's the revelation because I do think me as somebody who is a recovering people pleaser, I always think that, like -- and I learned this like through experience that it's not correct. But I think that if I am like, what I perceive to be not nice or mean to somebody or like whatever about my truth, that they're going to go away. Like I'm going to lose that roster player because I told him that, like, nah, I'm out with somebody else right now.
Scottie: But you don't have to --.
Sylvia: Or like, if they ask you, like, oh, what else are you doing out here? You know, that's what I mean about getting attached. It's like, sometimes they have questions about like, you know, whatever. But it's like I think it's the whole point is like, to be honest,
Sio: You got to be honest. You got to be honest with yourself and you got to be honest with them.
Scottie: Hmm.
Sio: I will say, like --.
Sylvia: [laughs] Sorry. Scottie say, hmm. [laughs]
Sio: I didn't -- No, no, no. There's a difference. There's a difference between being honest --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] And telling our business. Yeah.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Thank you.
Sio: [Crosstalk] And the difference between open -- too open.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] There is a difference.
Scottie: Okay, thank you.
Sylvia: There's a difference. Right. So the key is to like, keep it moving, keep it light. Like you can -- if you get specific, I'll get specific as you ask --.
Sio: Yes.
Sylvia: But I won't give you more than you're asking for.
Sio: [Crosstalk] Yeah.
Sylvia: I'm not offering, volunteering my information, but then also --.
Sio: I don't lie.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Yeah. And when you're --
Sio: I just don't lie. I can't.
Sylvia: Yeah. And when you're going to these other cities. Like say you're going to Atlanta, right. Or like where else did you mention? L.A. or wherever else --.
Sio: [Crosstalk] L.A., Chicago.
Sylvia: How are you setting yourself up? Like for a sneak -- like how are you like, oh I'm in your city.
Scottie: Not a sneaky link. [laughter] You was gonna say a sneaky link.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I was goin say a sneak link!
Sio: [Crosstalk] You was about to say sneaky link.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Sneaky link. [laughter]
Sio: First and foremost, ain't nothing sneaky about my links.
Sylvia: Ahh!
Sio: I'm single.
Sylvia: I know, that's right.
Scottie: I don't need to sneak.
Sylvia: I know that's right.
Sio: I don't need to sneak.
Scottie: Yes.
Sio: So that's number one. Number two, once I know, I usually set it up. Like I'm like, yo I'ma be in Chicago in July. Like, are you around? They say yes or no. And then I'm here in your city. If you would like to see me, you let me know. I'm not going to keep pressing you. You don't got to press them because, now I'm not a charity case. I'm not coming out here looking for for dinner. I'm not looking for lodging. I have my own money. So.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Lodging. [laughs]
Scottie: Hello. My own money.
Sio: I have my own money. So I'm coming out here and I'm taking my time to see you. But I'm not here just to see you because you don't pay for any of this stuff. So if you would like to make yourself available, let me know. But I know a lot of people will go into the city and they think that I'm just supposed to wing it and see them. You're not going to see me on that trip. If you think that I'm going make some time after I done told you months in advance and you are just now hitting me when you saw my Instagram story or something that I'm there. Like, yo, when are you coming to see me? I guess the next trip. [laughter] So.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I know that's right.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Right.
Sio: I told you already.
Scottie: She's a Capricorn guys. So she has planned from the moment --.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] February.
Scottie: She found out, she's leaving --
Sio: [Crosstalk] Hello. Hello.
Scottie: To go. Like weeks, months in advance. So and -- because my mother, my sister, my brother is all Capricorns, I live this life.
Sylvia: So I do want to ask because we were talking about hitting up men who we already know to be there, right. But what about when you're meeting people fresh on the trip? Because I'm fresh from Hawaii. And I must say I definitely got there, I thought to myself, like, dang! Do I know how to meet a man just randomly on a trip? Like you know what I mean?
Sio: Usually I go on trips with friends. So I will usually know somebody that knows somebody. And if somebody I'm interested in like we obviously have a conversation. But if I'm kind of solo, like my Mexico trip I was with my mom. Like she don't know nobody that I want to talk to. [laughter] Like, she don't know nobody in Mexico.
Scottie: Shout out to Sharon.
Sio: I will go to the resort -- her Gemini self. I will go through like off the resort and go to a bar and like it was playoff season. Men are going to be at the bar watching the game in Mexico no matter where they at. So I went to the bar by myself. I met this guy. We were talking about liquor. And he -- I was like, what are you drinking? And he was like, Oh, I'm drinking tequila or I'm drinking this. And I was like, oh, I couldn't figure out which kind of martini to -- I mean not martini -- margarita to drink. So I'ma try that.
Sylvia: They goes that, what are you drinking.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sio: And then we ended up actually being from the Bronx together. So we started talking about like people we knew, whatever. So he's like a'ight, bet. I'ma link you when we get back. I'm not linking that man. I apologize. [laughter] Because you know what it is? I like on vacationship. I love a vacationship.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Right.
Sio: Like it's fun. Like I've been on a few trips where, like, it doesn't happen for me every single time, but it's fun. Like going and like hanging out with guys or just like, you know, the lies be real good at the beginning girl.
Scottie: Yeah.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Cus
Sio: The lies -- and the lies when you're on a vacation and you know that the lies aren't going to continue after, like you don't got to upkeep the lie? Wow. Wow. [laughter]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yo, every time I've been on a cruise, I've had a boyfriend on that cruise. Literally. Every time.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] I'm about to say, define the vacationship for the people. Like it's just like a --
Sio: It's what you make it. So like I will say, my best friend put me on a vacationship. I'm not going to say which one, but my best friend put me on to the vacationship. And I'm just like, you know, to me it could be like literally just walking around, eating, holding hands. You know, cuddling. It could exceed a little bit more depending on how -- what time in your life you're at.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] What time you on.
Sio: Yeah, like if you're connecting with that person and actually speaking with them and being intentional about seeing them on a trip, that's a vacationship. Like you ain't plan to be going on dates with this man. He wasn't part of the crew. He wasn't in the itinerary. Like so that's what a vacationship is.
Sylvia: It's like a little fling.
Sio: Yeah. But people see fling and think sex and you don't have to --.
Sylvia: I see.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] No. I don't have to be about that.
Sio: It don't have to be sex. I don't be having sex on trips. First of all, I don't know you.
Scottie: No. I had a whole Carnival Cruise relationship for eight days because --.
Sylvia: I'm crying. [laughs]
Scottie: I had a whole vacationship. I didn't know that's what it's called but that's perfect.
Sio: [Crosstalk] Yeah.
Scottie: I could --listen, the lies that we would tell ourselves --.
Sio: [Crosstalk] The lies.
Scottie: And each other. We knew we weren't going to see each other after that. Like it was nothing else.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Like how do you know? How did you know, though?
Sio: [Crosstalk] Because--
Scottie: Because I was like 18 at the time, 19. I ain't -- what am I -- what are we doing? I'm going back to school. You going back to sch -- school and life is going to take us and that's it. Like it's not that serious. I did really like him. I really liked him. But I knew that it wasn't going to be anything just --
Sio: But I think that's the issue, though. Like and again, I'm a Capricorn, so I'm a lunatic. I know it. This is the first time I've admitted it to Deanii. So she's going to have happy this is recorded.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Well, I knew that already. I mean whatever.
Sio: [Crosstalk] But I've never admitted it. So that's the point. I think we put a lot of expectations when we actually like somebody and then we start running with them. And I've done this before. So it's -- I understand. I had to realize to live in the moment. Most of the people that I've actually been in relationships with is because I went in there with no expectation. I didn't even think I was going to talk to the person again. And we really just clicked because we weren't -- we just had fun. And when you have fun with the person, that's when you really like the person and when you really like the person, that's when you want to stay with the person.
Scottie: I wish people went about that in every relationship.
Sio: Yeah -- it's not easy. I'm not even going to be fake. Like, I've got caught a few times out here crying, listening to my Waiting to Exhale playlists. Watching Love Jones. Asking, where's my Darius Lovehall? Even though he was a little shaky. [laughter]
Scottie: [Crosstalk] He was really shaky.
Sio: But I've done the -- I've done this a few times and it's come to the realization like your life is short. I'm trying to fill my life with as much good times as possible with this, with men, my friends, whatever. I'm enjoying myself. I'm not sure if it's going to last a week, a year or my lifetime, but I'm going to enjoy this moment because --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Right.
Sio: I don't know when I'ma have it again.
Sylvia: That's big hot girl energy. Like --
Scottie: I love that. I love that, Sio. You make me so proud. Okay.
Sio: I know.
Sylvia: To bring it back as we close out, we want -- so Sio, we've talked about a few different things. We've touched on some takeaways. Like go off the resort to meet somebody --.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Yes.
Sylvia: You know and manage expectations, give a head and time notice, but don't crack your schedule to somebody when they're just temporary. You know, all those things. But if you had to sum up what your official official tip is for Hot Girl Summer, Hot Girl, specifically, what would you say it is?
Sio: If I had to sum up my tip, I would say, have fun, live in the moment and don't have any expectations. Like if you were really going to be a hot girl, don't block your blessing by trying to cut some man off, but also really just sit back and enjoy the moment that you're having. And if he stays, he stays. If he doesn't, try another city.
Sylvia: Try another city! [laughs]
Scottie: Try another city. I love that. We got to end it on that one. Yes.
Sylvia: [Crosstalk] Yes. Yeah.
Scottie: Thank you, Sio. I appreciate you for spreading the wisdom.
Sio: No problem.
Scottie: You and Sylvia are my true gurus of life, but where can they find you to get some more wisdom?
Sio: So you can follow me on Twitter. Hopefully everybody has a Twitter, @JustCallMeSio -- or Sio cus that's what Deanii calls me. J-U-S-T-C-A-L-L-M-E-S-I-O on Twitter and Instagram. And yeah that's where I'm at.
[Music In]
Sylvia: Thank you girl.
Scottie: Alright. I love you.
Sio: I love you too.
Sylvia: All right. That's our show. Thank you again to our friends, Jasmyn, Taylor, and Sio for calling in and giving us some hot tips for our Hot Girl Hotline. We appreciate and love you all so much.
Scottie: Our show is a production of Pineapple Street Studios in partnership with Netflix and Strong Black Lead. Shout out to our team. Our managing producer is Agerenesh Ashagre and our lead producer is Jess Jupiter. This episode was produced by Taylor Hosking. Our music is by Amanda Jones special thanks to Max Linsky and Jenna Weiss-Bermann.
Sylvia: Make sure you share your thoughts with us on the episode using the #OkayNowListen. Follow Strong Black Lead on the socials @StrongBlackLead. And follow us too. I'm @SylviaObell.
Scottie: And I'm @ScottieBeam
Sylvia: Until next time folks, stay blessed and keep it hot! Summer's here.
Scottie: [Crosstalk] Keep it hot, sis! [laughter].
[Music Out]